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She looks at me for a second and says, “You know, I will always be here for you.Always.You are my person, Lizzie.We are soul sisters.Forever. Don’t forget that.” She pauses and steadily looks at me, but with a different expression than one I’ve ever seen before. “I want you to think about what I’m about to say without freaking out on me, okay?” she asks, quirking her eyebrow.
I nod even though I feel a bit uneasy about what she might say. “I think when you go home for Christmas, you should stop by and see your dad.” She holds up her hands to stop me from interrupting her, “This isn’t for your dad, honey; it’s’ for you. You should take this opportunity to get your life back from him. You are giving him too much power over your life. The fears he has instilled in you are running the show. He lives halfway across the country, yet he is still occupying your mind. His abuse is living rent free. You need to face him. I think even telling him your side of the story or how you felt through it all, would begin to heal you. Hell, write him a letter. You are best at putting your soul down on pages. Write him, Lizzie, tell him what he did to you. Take away his power over you. I promise you’ll feel lighter without carrying around this shit on your shoulders every day. I’m not saying to forgive him. That’s up to you. But you deserve to be happy, and I think this is the first step in that direction. Otherwise, how will you be able to ever fully give yourself to Miles and believe the things he tells you?”
I sit in stunned silence. I don’t know whether I should be mad that she thinks I need to talk to that man or feel hopeful that she’s right. The table is quiet for a few moments, as I muster the strength to respond.
“I’ll think about it, Sarah. I know that was hard for you to tell me, but I’m thankful that I have a friend that will give it to me straight, the way you do. I don’t want to be weighed down any longer, but I just don’t know how to go about this. I have been running for years. That’s why we are in New York. I’m a runner. I always have been, but you’re right. Nothing canhappen with Miles if I don’t get my head on straight.” We both stand up and hug each other. Sarah has my back. That’s all I need to remember. I’m not alone in this.
She pulls back, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I can’t help but laugh because I know what’s coming. “So, now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to need some details on Mr. Tall, Dark, and Sexy,” she announces with a huge grin. We pull our jackets on, grab our coffees, and walk toward the door. Once we get outside, I take a deep breath, feeling like everything will be okay. I look over at her and see she’s waiting on all the details. As we walk down the street, I tell her all about my dream man, Miles Knight.
“Oh, before I forget to bring it up again, is Miles taking you out for your birthday this weekend?” she questions as we come to a stop before crossing the street.
“No, he has some charity gala that night. I also told him that I don’t celebrate it unless you make me.” I let out a laugh, making me feel lighter than I have all morning.
“Yeah, I’m not listening to that crap this year. We are celebrating. I’ll come up with something perfect for you!” she exclaims as she grabs my hand and leads me across the street.
“Sarah! I’m staying home! You can’t convince me otherwise. Just because you have in the past does not mean it will happen this year. In fact, I’m beginning to become immune to your begging. So, that’s that!” I declare, matter-of-factly, even though I don’t believe a word I’m saying. She doesn’t either. I know she’ll drag me somewhere, and I’ll end up having a fun time. That’s how great of a best friend she is. She knows just what I need, even when I don’t.
“Whatever, babe. You keep telling yourself that while we go in here and find something fun to buy,” she replies, pulling me into one of our favorite thrift shops in the city.
Chapter 20
Elizabeth
Sarah convinces me to call out of work so we can spend the entire day together—something I think we both need. We shop and run errands all day, and it’s just what the doctor ordered. We find some fun 1950s cocktail dresses in a thrift shop close to our apartment, and I just had to get them. I love dressing up in clothing from different eras. Plus, I got things accomplished that have been on my to-do list forever! When we finally get into the apartment, I drop the bags in my room and come out, falling on the couch. Wow, I’m exhausted. After all the emotional talking, and then walking. Man, it was a workout. Sarah can shop ‘til she drops. I think we’d still be out there if the weather had permitted, but thankfully, I was saved by the snow. We cut the shopping trip short. It's the first snow of the season, and it is beautiful as I watch it silently falling beyond our floor-to-ceiling windows.
?I’ve gotten to talk to Miles a few times today. He texted a couple of times to see how my day was going and to let me know he’s thinking about me, which made me smile like a Cheshire cat. Sarah looked at me and laughed. She knew exactly who I was talking to, which made me blush, something that seems to be happening a lot lately when it comes to him. He called back later while we were in another store, but it was too loud with the overhead music and all the other customers.
?Sarah comes from the kitchen with two glasses of winein her hands. I take one of the glasses. “Thanks girl, you read my mind.”
?She just laughs. “After the day we’ve had, wine is definitely in order. So, should we order something for dinner?” she asks, while she ruffles through our collected stack of take-out menus.
?“Yes! I’m starving. You shopped me to death, and now food is imperative, unless you want drunk, hangry Lizzie to come out,” I warn, pointing my finger at her.
?“Oh, anything but that!” she exclaims, holding her hands up. We both burst out laughing. I don’t even think we’re laughing at my silly joke anymore. We are just deliriously tired and hungry. Tears stream down my cheeks we laugh so hard.
?“Italian?” she queries.
?“No, that’s what I had last night. Miles cooked for me, by the way. On top of everything, the man can cook,” I shake my head in disbelief. Is there anything he doesn’t do perfectly?
“Wow, okay. At least you didn’t have to and chance the possibility of poisoning the poor man,” she quipped, lifting her eyebrow at me to argue with her. I don’t do so, but I do throw a pillow at her head, and we start the laughing fit all over again.
? After what seems like an eternity, our Chinese food finally gets delivered, and it takes us no time to devour it. Watching some sitcom on TV, drinking wine, and laughing, we both enjoy our much-needed girls’ night.
?Before I realize it, it's eleven, and I forgot to call Miles. I look for my phone, which somehow is squished between the couch cushions. When I try to turn it on, I see that it’s dead. Dread fills my mind. I don’t know how long it’s been dead. I get up quickly, run to my room, plug it in, and plop down on my bed. It takes a few minutes to charge enough to turn on, and when it does, notification after notification chimes out. I pickup my phone and see all the missed calls and messages. Not all of them are from Miles, which relieves me a bit, until I open the ones from him.
Miles:Hey, beautiful. Are you still out shopping in this storm? Call me.
Miles:Lizzie, I tried calling you, and it went straight to voicemail. I’m just leaving the office; it’s 9:30. Please give me a call and let me know that you’re okay.
Miles:Lizzie, I’m getting a little worried. If I don’t hear from you soon, I’m going to check on you at your apartment.
?The last message was sent thirty minutes ago. I quickly pull up his contact information and hit call. It takes a few minutes for it to ring. I pull the phone closer to my ear so I can hear better. It's faintly ringing. Just then a loud knock comes from the front door. Startled, I jump at the sound, but then I hear Miles’ voice calling my name, “Lizzie, are you in there?” His voice sounds strained and angry. I run to the door, pulling it open quickly. My heart is beating out of my chest. This situation escalated fast, but I suppose I’m the one to blame since I didn’t let him know I was home.
?When the door opens, I suck in a deep breath as I see the man in front of me. He’s in his suit still, but he’s shrugged off his jacket at some point and rolled up his sleeves. His hair is disheveled like he’s been running his hands through it or running from the parking lot. Soaking wet from the snow and rain, he looks at me in bewilderment.
"Miles, I—," Without letting me finish, he wraps his arms around me as tightly as I can stand. We are still in the doorway; he is holding me like he’d lost me, and I was finally found.
?“Miles, I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I was hanging out with Sarah, and I didn’t realize my phone had died. I lost track oftime. I didn’t mean to make you worry,” I apologize, as I pull back to look at his face. He still hasn’t spoken a word to me, and my heart is still drumming in my chest. He lets go of me, closes the door behind him, and then turns back to face me.
