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Then it dawns on me: perhaps I shouldn't have sprung this on her first thing in the morning, right before I'm about to leave. I should've said something last night, but Kate and I practically devoured each other the moment she stepped into the room (as always).
Then we got to watching a Marvel movie, and we had sex a second time. That left me satisfied and exhausted, and we fell asleep in each other's arms.
This proposal was too abrupt this morning. That's it.
"You told me you were denied for prescription help coverage. You said you were having a difficult time finding an affordable insurance plan. Your treatment is expensive and necessary, and you're having trouble getting into that research trial. Your pills are expensive and critical. I don't see the problem with getting married. Hang on, let me tell Ma I'll be late."
I reach for my phone on the nightstand and tap out a quick text to Ma. When I look up, Kate's put on her tank top and underwear. She leans back against the gold-quilted headboard and crosses her arms over her delicious breasts. I have to move back a couple of feet so I don't try to hug her close.
I don't think she wants to be hugged right now, and I need to respect that. I pull the sheet over my hips.
"Damien, I know you think you're coming from a place of caring. And thank you for that. But we can't get married so I can have health insurance."
"Why?"
"Because...because..." she sputters. "It's fraud."
I shrug. "I think people do this more than you know. I read a story in the paper about marriage for insurance a while back. I have amazing health insurance. It's like the Lamborghini of health care. The guys who are married have full coverage for their families." I smile, hoping to put her at ease.
She rolls her eyes. "Marriage should be for, you know..."
"What?"
"Love."
I gnaw on my bottom lip. I could tell her I love her, and it would be the truth. But I'm not sure she wants to hear that, considering how pissed she looks. And does she feel the same? I'm not certain and definitely am not sure I can handle being rejected by her right this second. She certainly doesn't look like she loves me right now.
Kate's the whole package for me: she loves superhero movies, is a night owl like me, laughs a lot, reads sci-fi, has an incredible body that makes me hard practically every time I look at her...and has a face like an angel.
Of course, I'm in love with her. How could I not be? I'd crushed on her in high school and now after three weeks, I'm in deep, in some perfect, sugar-coated fantasyland. Like I've been hit by a lightning bolt thrown by a rainbow-colored unicorn. Jesus. If Remy could hear that thought, I'd never live it down.
But no other woman has made me feel this way. There have been a few other women, all excellent people. No one's made me feel like this—hopeful and, yeah,happy. For a guy as brooding as I am, this is huge.
I'm also leaving for a year to a war zone. Shit. Now that I think about everything, my proposal is insane. Poorly timed. Ridiculous. How the hell do I recover from this? Where is my goddamned common sense?
I'm an idiot.
"People marry for lotsa reasons." I soften my voice and lean over, rubbing her bare shin and staring at her small knee.
"Isn't it unethical to marry for insurance?"
I look up from her leg and shift the sheet over my dick, because it's coming to life with the small contact with her skin. "It's unethical that you have a serious, chronic medical condition, and you can't afford what should be a basic human right. That's unethical, Kate. Insurance companies are unethical. Our getting married so you get the care you need isn't unethical. It's one guy helping a good friend. It's not pity. It's friendship. It's the opposite of unethical."
My phone pings, and I groan.
"It's Ma. She really needs me right now; she's freaking out about the holiday." I look up. "I'm sorry I sprang this on you. I didn't mean to make you upset. It's an idea. Think about it, okay?"
She's still propped against the headboard, her arms folded. Only now her eyes aren't big or hard. They've got a faraway look, almost wistful.
I lean in and press a kiss against her mouth. "I'll text you soon?"
She gives me a soft hum in return.
"Consider my plan, okay? We don't have to tell anyone."
She nods, and as I'm about to climb off the bed, reaches for me.
"Damien?"
