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I take her hand and kiss her palm. "Yeah?" I murmur against her skin.
"Thank you."
kate
. . .
I pickat the remnants of food on my plate. My cholesterol condition means I can't eat much of the good stuff on Thanksgiving: no gravy, no eggnog, no pecan pie...and one slice of dry turkey.
Mom's always tried to compensate by making delicious vegan side dishes, and this year's no exception.
"The butternut squash is extra tasty this year," I say, moving the mashed vegetable around my plate. And it is, mostly because she made it specifically for me.
But I don't have an appetite for anything, not since I last saw Damien a few days ago.
We've both been too busy with the holidays—him with his family, me with the bar and Mom—to see each other. I think I'm suffering from withdrawal. I'm so edgy after our last conversation. Was he for real?
Everything about those last few minutes together left me feeling conflicted about his feelings. About my feelings. About everything. I hate it when I get this way, probably because I'm already something of a dreamer. I don't need another reason to fantasize about having something permanent with Damien.
"You're not too hungry, dear. What's wrong?" Mom can always tell when something's up.
"Stomach's not feeling well." I pat my midsection.
"Why don't you go lie down? Take a nap and relax."
"No, I'll do the dishes. It'll pass." I rise and gather plates. "You should be the one to relax."
Mom smiles. "Stubborn girl. If you're going to insist, I'll be in the living room. I've got to call Beau and wish him a good holiday."
"Why doesn't he come over for some vegan pumpkin pie?"
Mom shakes her head. "He's down in Fort Myers with his kids."
I carry the dishes into the kitchen, still thinking about Damien, as I run the water in the sink and squirt soap on the plates.
Why was I so offended by his proposal? He seems to want to help me. He's a friend, and he's trying to make my life better, like any friend would. Hell, if Lauren could magically wave a wand and give me health insurance, she would.
And yet...
It makes something inside sink in despair. He proposed because of my problem, not because he cares for me.
I want him to love me, dammit. There. I admit it.
Isn't it silly, especially after such a short time? Sure, we've known each other since we were kids. Yeah, we have incredible chemistry. Fine, the sex is out of this world.
And of course, I adore being with him. The only other person who makes me laugh like he does is Lauren.
But he's leaving. For an entire year, and God knows what he'll do after that. I can't fall for him. It's a stupid idea. I don't even know where I'll be in a year. Probably not here.
I sigh out loud as I soap up the dishes. What started as a no-strings-attached hookup has turned into a complicated situation, and I hate that. Can't we go back to our carefree fling?
"Dear?"
I glance up to see Mom in the kitchen doorway. "Hey. Almost done. You want to watch a movie?"
"No, because there are two handsome men here to see you, and they've brought more dessert." Mom's face is flushed with excitement.
I grin for the first time in days and wipe my hands on a towel.
