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“I’m not fighting you.”
Her brow furrows right before a hurt look crosses her face. Withoutthinking, I cup her face in my scarred hands and caress her cheek with my thumb. I can’t stand the thought of her in pain, and I hate that I’m the cause of it right now.
“Is it because you don’t want me?” Her voice is nothing more than a whisper, but she might as well be screaming it at me.
“What?”
Her eyes meet mine. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. At first it was just a childhood crush, but it never went away. It’s just gotten stronger, and then as I got older it changed into something more, and it kills me every time you try to push me away. Every time I see something flash in your eyes that I think might be desire or love, I get my hopes up, but every damn time you pull away from me. You close yourself off from me, Matvey, and it’s killing me. I want the truth. After all we’ve been through, you owe me that.”
Her fingers dig into my waist as she searches my eyes. “Do you feel anything for me?”
My heart fucking breaks at seeing her like this. She looks like she’s seconds away from crying, and I can’t stand it. Resting my forehead against hers, I let out a shaky breath and whisper, “Yes.”
Her gasp is whisper soft, and when I start to kiss along her brow, she lets out the softest moan.
“What about Roman?” I drag my nose along her soft skin, breathing her in like I’ve dreamed about doing. “I don’t want to come between you two.”
“Roman loves you, Matvey, and he knows that you’d never hurt me. Let me worry about him. The others will help smooth things over.”
“Yeah, because Vitaly’s been such a huge help so far,” I mutter.
She gives a soft laugh. “He did buy me this dress, and it did work.”
I pull back enough so I can see her better. “The dress had nothing to do with it.”
“Really? Well that’s good. That means I can keep wearing it.”
“Like hell you will.” My eyes run over the tiny scrap of clothing, and the thought of her walking around in this in front of other men when I’m not around to make sure she’s safe does not sit well with me.I’m about to run through a list of reasons on why exactly she can’t dress like this when I see the smile she’s fighting. I sigh and shake my head.
“You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”
“I am.”
I let out a heavy sigh, relieved that she won’t be prancing around half-naked anytime soon. Reaching up, she cups my face in her hands and pulls me closer. With her heels on, she’s still shorter than me, but she’s close enough to put our mouths dangerously close. Alina is the only person who can touch me without it making me want to claw at my skin to rid myself of the feeling. It’s pure torture for me to have anyone else’s hands on my body, but with her, it doesn’t bother me. For a brief moment, I actually lean into her touch, savoring the feel of her skin against mine.
“I want one more present,” she whispers.
I smile and drag my knuckles lightly along her cheek. “Someone’s feeling greedy this year. I’ve already given you my favorite hoodie.”
“And I love it so much, but I want one more thing.”
“And what’s that?”
Her eyes meet mine. “A kiss. I want my first kiss, and I want it to be with you, Matvey, because I don’t ever want to kiss anyone else.”
My heart races in my chest, and I know I’m on dangerous ground here, but instead of pulling back and putting some distance between us, I lower my head until our lips touch. The truth is it’s also my first kiss. Not being able to tolerate touch makes it difficult to get close to someone, but kissing Alina feels so damn natural, like it was always supposed to be the two of us together.
She lets out a soft whimper when I deepen the kiss and thread my fingers in her dark hair, cupping the back of her head as my hand palms her lower back, pulling her closer. With her body flush against mine, I’m quickly losing my ability to think rationally, and when I slide my hand lower, she jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist, making it impossible for me to not grab her ass as she clings to me like she’s never planning on letting go. I’m more than okay with that.
Her tongue runs along mine, pulling a deep groan from my chest asI hold her tighter. She’s broken through all my defenses, all the damn walls I’ve worked so hard to put up crumble at her touch.
“Matvey.”
The sound of her moaning my name and the way her hips start to rock has me fighting for control. I can’t let this go any further. Not here, not yet. She just turned eighteen for fuck’s sake, and I’m already practically mauling her in the goddamn hallway.
I pull back and rest my forehead against hers, trying like hell to get control of myself. We’re still so close that her breaths hit my lips. I breathe in every one of her exhalations, wanting every piece of her that I can get.
“We don’t have to stop,” she whispers.
