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I would laugh if I knew it wasn’t possibly the last time Deacon would throw one if his clever retorts at me while being shirtless. I’m trying to remain cheerful. This is what we agreed on. Hell, it’s what I need. I planned it so that I have my firstinvestor pitch in two days. I don’t have time to wallow. I have a million things to do.
“You guys know it’s for the best. We’re distracted. Our GPAs have fallen, just like I figured they would.”
“Your GPA is still almost perfect,” Graham says while rubbing his eyes, his hair mussed from sleep.
“It fell by .01.” I point out.
“You’re telling me that’s not worth learning you can orgasm three times in a row?” Ben shoots up, already ready to argue, and goes straight for the coffee.
“It’s been 100% worth it.” I agree with him. “But now we’re moving to the stage of our lives where .01% can be the difference between everything.”
“Well, I have 100% of a boner right now, so I’m holding onto the .01% chance that I can keep up our Sunday tradition and sink it into you.” Deacon generously gives me one more shirtless quip.
I take a deep breath, reminding myself of my fortitude. We had a full-out sex Olympics yesterday knowing that today is the end. Every step to the bagel shop reminded me of how sore and thoroughly orgasmed I am, but somehow, I still want more from them. I don’t think I could ever have enough of them.
“It’s not a breakup because if you were my boyfriends, then I could never in a million years break up with you guys. That’s why I never agreed to anything more.” I sigh, admitting the full truth. I don’t feel the need to hide anything from them. “I mean really, I’ve thought about it and it’s kind of scary what you three would have to do to make me not want you. Even if you killed a guy I would be like, ugh, well he must have had it coming…”
“He probably did.” Ben takes a sip of coffee. “And that’s because you trust us. The most fucking important thing, Emily, and we have it. We’re unstoppable.”
“I know.” I nod in agreement. He’s right. We are so open and clear with each other. It’s the only way an arrangement like this could even exist. “But I need to grow my foundation for myself right now. Without all this sex mist all over me. And if you guys still want me-”
“We will,” Ben interrupts.
“Okay,” I nod. I believe him. “Then keep a space for me in your lives. And I’ll do the same.” I look at their faces deliberating. They’re some of the most ambitious and level-headed people I know. They need this, too. “You guys know I’m right.”
“It’s what I love about you,” Graham whispers and averts eye contact with me.
I feel my eyes heat. “We can do this,” I say through a tight throat. I’m talking about this thing we have and I’m also talking about our futures. We have so much we want to achieve. It’s what drove us together in the first place, our ambition and our drive.
“We got you something.” Graham rubs his hand over his face before pushing himself out of my bed. He rustles through his pants that were thrown over my reading chair almost 24 hours ago. I smile, realizing he’s just been naked in my apartment for almost a full day.
He pulls out a small box and I frown. “No, you guys didn’t need to get me anything.” I feel my heart race. We had a plan. I need them to stick to the plan. Whatever is in that small jewelry box…
“You can relax,” he laughs, seeing my face. “It’s not an engagement ring. We’re not that big of assholes to propose to you when you’re asking for space.”
He gets down on one knee. “But I can still get down on one knee to watch you freak out.”
I do freak out seeing him like this. Because if it was a ring in that box, I don’t think there would be even one version of myself that could say no.
I slap him on the shoulder and try to pull him up to his feet. He lumbers up with exaggerated slowness.
“Fine,” he grins. “Turn around.”
I do as he says, and he clears my hair to one side. Ben and Deacon stroll in front of me while Graham loops a dainty chain around my neck.
I look down and am confused at first, trying to figure out what I’m looking at.
“You like it?” Ben asks grinning.
I laugh, finally realizing what I’m looking at. The charm on the necklace is a golden stack of three pancakes, a slab of butter melting on top. There are little blue stones inlaid in it for blueberries. “Oh my gosh,” I laugh again. “I love it!”
Graham steps in front of me, smiling widely. “We wanted to give it to you to remind you of what’s waiting for you. We know better than anyone that all the money in the world is no good unless you have someone to spend the time with enjoying it.”
Now the little misty bits in my eyes are full tears. “You guys hurry up and get what you need to get done,” I say. “Because you know I work efficiently. And I’m already craving blueberry pancakes.”
“Oh, Ms. Miller,” Deacon says. “We’re going to give you the best damn ride of your life when you’re finally ready for us.”
And that’s all we can say for now. Because anything else would break our resolve. So I lead them to the door and do one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. I say goodbye.
