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“Wes.” I step closer, once again placing my hand on his cheek. He squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them again. “I never meant to hurt you.” I wipe away the tears that are sliding down his cheeks. “I never meant to make you feel like you didn’t matter, or that you were an inconvenience. Or that I was choosing becoming a pilot over being with you. I’m so sorry. Please know that. You have to know that nothing mattered to me more than you did. I only ever wanted what was best for you.”
Wesley reaches up and rests his hand on top of mine. “What was best for me was you,” he says, and my breath catches. “It’s always been you, Coop. You were my best friend. My first love, my first kiss, my first everything. I wanted to spend my life with you.”
I grip both of his cheeks in my hands, now, firmly. His hands grip my forearms. “I’ve missed you so much,” I say, staring into his incredible blue eyes, as he stares back. “You are everything to me. My feelings for you have never changed. I’ve loved you since we were fourteen. And I will love you til the day I die, no matter how you feel about me. There hasn’t been a single thing that I’ve said or done on this trip that I haven’t meant, and I would do it all over again without getting a goddamn cent from you, because I fucking love you. And I don’t want your money.” I shake myhead. “I just want you. All I’ve ever wanted is you. I need you to know that.”
I stumble backwards and grunt, because suddenly, Wesley is in my arms, his legs wrapped around me, and his hands gripping my face. His lips are pressed to mine and he’s kissing me so hard it hurts. Fuck. We’re both soaked to the skin, and I’m pretty sure he weighs ten pounds more because of it, but I don’t care, because he’s fucking kissing me like I’m his air and he’s suffocating. He sucks, and nibbles, moaning and whining desperately. His fingers run through my wet hair, and god, I’m on fire. The sounds he’s making are positively sinful. I grip him tighter and kiss him back, moaning, because this is everything. This is Wesley unhinged. All of his passion, and intensity, and gusto in one amazing, earth-shattering kiss. And it’s all for me. His tongue is down my throat, and as I back us up so he’s pressed against a tree, a whimper escapes him that is so delicious it makes me shudder.
“Is this real?” Wesley says, breaking away from the kiss. His hands move along my face and shoulders almost frantically, his breath coming in heavy pants. His fingers move through my hair, his gaze lowering, and his hands following suit until his fingers are sliding down my collar bone, and my pecs, and then my abs, as if to confirm that it is in fact me that he is touching, and kissing and holding. His eyes meet mine again. “Are you real?” he says, his hands coming up to grip my cheeks. “Do I have my best friend back?” Tears fill his eyes again, and he starts to shake.
“Oh, god, yes,” I say, taking his face into my hands.“Please. If you’ll have me.”
Wesley collapses into sobs and buries his face in my chest. I hold him as he cries. The rain is letting up now. He’s shivering, but I don’t know if it’s from the cold or everything that’s going through his mind right now. All the emotions and turmoil he’sbeen holding onto, and dealing with for the last nine years. I rub his back as his legs stay locked around me, his arms wrapped around my neck, his face buried in my shoulder.
Eventually he lifts his head and wipes his eyes. He rubs his nose and apologizes for getting snot on my shirt. I just smile and kiss his cheek. Then I carry him back to the truck where I grab the towels I’d brought in case I needed them. Turns out it was a good idea. I use them to wipe our hair and faces off as much as possible, before I use them to wipe down the bed of the truck, him clinging to me like a koala bear the entire time. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The rain has stopped completely now. I plant a kiss on Wes’ cheek again and then set him down on the edge of the truck bed before grabbing the blankets that Derick and Macy keep inside. I lay one out over the bottom of the truck bed, and then I strip, and lay my wet clothes out over the side of the truck. Wesley stares at me but I just smirk. Yeah, I’m naked, so what? I lay down and pull the other blanket over me and wait.
I smile, when a second later Wesley is undressing, and following suit. He’s naked as the day he was born a moment later, and sliding under the blanket next to me. I don’t expect this to turn into anything other than cuddling. I don’t think I even want it to. But we’ve just had a very intense, emotional conversation and I think we need to be together, not wearing soaking wet clothes, and not surrounded by the rest of our families. This, falling asleep under the stars, in the bed of a truck, in the middle of nowhere, this is good. This is perfect.
I don’t reach for him, because I want him to come to me on his own terms. If he needs space I’ll give it to him. I won’t push. My heart leaps when he scoots close and snuggles up next to me. I wrap my arms around him as he rests his head on my chest, and I sigh contentedly.
And for the first time in a long time, I fall asleep with him in my arms.
CHAPTER 9
WESLEY - 12 YEARS EARLIER
“Hey, look, there’s another one!” Cooper points up at the night sky as we lay on the grass next to each other.
I laugh. “Dude, that’s the third one in half an hour. Are you gonna point out every single one?”
“Maybe,” he replies, nudging me.
I squirm, and laugh even more as his elbow digs into my side. “You know, most people point out shooting stars or constellations,” I say, jabbing him back playfully, “not airplanes.”
Cooper grins. “Well, I’m not most people,” he says, then winks at me. My cheeks heat and I clear my throat, turning my gaze back to the sky. Cooper’s gaze follows mine as he tucks his hands behind his head.
“Don’t you think it would be cool though? Being up in an airplane, miles above the earth, having that amazing view? Being in control of something so big and powerful?” The awe is evident in his voice.
I sit up. “Yeah,” I say, my anxiety spiking just thinking about it. I have never understood Cooper’s desire to fly, but I have never discouraged him from it either. And I never will. Not when it’s something he is so passionate about. Still, it can’t stop me from worrying. The thought of my best friend up in one of those things terrifies me. “Being stuck in a pressurized tin can, thousands of feet in the air, where a million things could go wrong, causing you to plummet to the earth and obliterate, trusting whoever is in charge to get you from point A to point B with no mishaps. Sign me up.”
Cooper laughs. “Well, if I was the pilot,” he says, pushing himself up on his elbows, “I wouldn’t have anything to worry about.”
“I would,” I mumble, picking at the grass by my bare feet.
Cooper sits up all the way now. “Are you saying you would be worried about me?” he asks, smiling as he drapes his arms across his knees. He waggles his eyebrows.
“No.” I glance back at him. But when Cooper’s eyes meet mine, my breath catches in my throat. I hadn’t realized he’d gotten so close. I swallow. “Maybe,” I say, more softly.
“You don’t have to worry about me, Wesley,” he says, stroking a finger up my bicep, and making me shiver.
“I can though,” I say. “And I’m good at it.”
Cooper chuckles softly. “You are.” His eyes meet mine again. “How long are we going to keep flirting, before we kiss each other, do you think?” he asks.
I can’t breathe, and my heart feels like it’s about to leap out of my chest. Cooper wants to kiss me. And god I want to kiss him back. I’ve wanted to kiss him for what seems like forever; years, now, but… “I’m really bad at instigating stuff,” I say, my voice slightly shaky, “so, however long it takes –”
Cooper presses his lips to mine, cutting off my words. My face is cradled in his palm as he kisses me. It’s wet, and slightlyawkward as first kisses tend to be. I don’t know what to do with my hands, and I’m not quite sure what to do with my lips either. Do I close my eyes? I’m only fifteen for fuck’s sake. And this is my first kiss. But it’s Cooper. And that makes it wonderful. I rest my hand on his cheek, and closing my eyes, I kiss him back, my lips brushing against his gently.
