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“Baby,” Cooper coos as a fresh wave of tears come, and my shoulders shake. I can’t stop them no matter how much I want to.
“Wesley, talk to me,” he prods gently, stroking his fingers through my hair. “It’s clear this is upsetting you. Are you afraid?”
I nod. “It’s not fair, Coop. I know it’s not fair,” I blubber through my tears. “I don’t have any right. I just can’t stand the thought of you making love to someone else. You were mine, and I was yours, and that’s how it was supposed to be, and I...” I collapse in a fresh puddle of tears onto Cooper’s shoulder. “I didn’t think it would be this hard,” I sob. “I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, Wes,” Cooper murmurs, holding me close. “My sweet, beautiful, Wesley.” He rubs my back and cards his fingers through my hair. “Would it help if I told you it didn’t last long, because I couldn’t be with another guy without it making me more miserable, knowing the person I really wanted was you?”
I lift my head, sniffling, and look into his eyes, my own eyes blurry with tears. “What?” I say. He nods.
“I was miserable after we broke up, Wes. I tried being with other guys, but it never worked out. I’d fuck them, or let them give me a blow job, but it only made it worse because I just kept thinking about how it wasn’t you. You were what I wanted. Knowing that, it made me stop. I didn’t want anyone else, andfucking around wasn’t making me happier. It was only making me more miserable. That’s when I got my tattoo.” He presses his hand to his heart where he wears my name. “I knew it didn’t matter what else happened in my life, I wasn’t going to give my body to someone when you had my heart. So yes, there were a handful of guys, years ago. But they didn’t mean anything to me, Wes. You are my everything. You always have been and you always will be. I haven’t been with anyone in a very long time. Last night, with you, was the first time in eight years someone has touched me.”
“Really?” I sniffle as my eyes widen.
“Yeah,” he says, giving me a soft smile.
“Me, too,” I say, and wipe the tears from my cheeks. He smiles even wider. “I mean, I haven’t been with anyone since you. Not like that. Christ, if my right hand didn’t get tired, though.”
Cooper laughs. “Mine, too.” He places a kiss on my forehead. “Listen, Wes, I know what sex means to you. I wish I could tell you there hadn’t been anyone else. If you need time, to process, or if you want to take a break from sex, or from us, I’ll understand –”
I shake my head, vehemently, interrupting him. “No. Do I wish there hadn’t been anyone else? Of course I do. But it was nine years, Cooper. No one would expect you to stay celibate for that long in the off chance that we would end up getting back together again, as much as my heart wants that to be the case. But you were honest with me. And all things considered, it could have been a lot worse. You could have been fucking every guy between here and kingdom come. And, it doesn’t matter because I love you. That’s what matters. Not those five or however many other guys you were with. I know the kind of man you are and I know you love me. And now, it’s about us.”
Cooper takes my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine, kissing me tenderly. “You’re amazing, Wesley Hall,” he says. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I say.
“Ready to go inside?” he asks.
“Um, actually,” I say, somewhat timidly. “If neither of us has been with anyone recently, what do you think about forgetting about the condoms?”
Cooper smiles. “I think I’d like nothing more than to take you with nothing between us.” He brushes the hair from my forehead. “But,” he continues, “I can’t do that unless I’m certain we’re one hundred percent safe. I know we haven’t been with other people in a while, but there are other ways to get infections, Wesley, and I don’t want to risk anything, least of all your health. I care for you too much. It’s been almost a year since I’ve had a physical and got tested. I was negative, but I don’t want to take any chances. And I won’t go bare with you until I have a full round of tests done. Okay?”
I sigh, but nod. “All right. But when this vacation is over can we go get tested together?” I’m sure I don’t really need to get tested, since I’ve never been with anyone but him, but it won’t hurt.
“Of course,” Cooper says, and kisses me again.
We climb out of the car and head into the store to grab our essentials. I try not to blush fiercely when Cooper pressed a kiss to my cheek as we’re checking out and the lady behind the counter gives us a fond smile.
“Ugh, that’s so embarrassing,” I groan once we’re back in the car.
“What?” Cooper asks.
“That.” I gesture to the store. “Buying condoms and lube, and nothing else. It’s like advertising that we’re about to go have sex.”
“So? Lots of people have sex.”
“Yeah, but I don’t like to showcase it.”
“Well, I for one have no problem letting people know that I’m about to do you.” Cooper gives me a wide smile.
“Oh, god,” I groan, burying my face in my hands against the steering wheel. Cooper laughs.
“Come on, where are we going? This is a date, remember?”
I sit up, a smile on my face now. “It is,” I say, and put the car in drive.
A few minutes later I pull up to a pirate-themed miniature golf course, complete with waterfalls, pirate ships, tunnels, barrels, bridges, and even live gators that you can pay to hold, although I am not planning on doing that, thank you very much.
“Tada!” I exclaim, holding my arms out and beaming.
