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I’ve learned a lot in the last four months during my therapy sessions. I’ve grown a lot, too. I only hope that I will be able to be the man that Wesley wants and needs me to be, because I can’t imagine my life without him.
“Cooper?” I hear and look up, my heart soaring at the sound of that angelic voice, my eyes almost filling with tears when I see him standing there. God, it’s so good to see him. He looks amazing in a simple pair of skinny jeans and a pink short sleeve button-down. I’m a bit more casual as always, in jeans and a tank.
“Wesley,” I say, standing to greet him. I hesitate but then ask, “Can I hug you?”
He smiles and then steps forward and wraps his arms around me, embracing me tightly with tears in his eyes. “I can’t believe you think you have to ask that, dumbass.” He squeezes me tighter. “God, I’ve missed you.”
Damn it, now I’m crying too. “I’ve missed you, too,” I say as I hug him back. It feels so good to be held by him. To hold him. His touch is everything. I don’t think it will ever get old. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course,” he says, pulling away. “I was really glad when I heard from you. I’ve been wanting to know how you are doing.”
I smile and gesture to the bench and we both sit.
“So, how are you doing?” Wesley asks. “With everything? I honestly felt terrible for not being there more for you in the last few months, especially after losing your mom, but I –”
“It’s okay,” I interject, laying a hand on his knee, and he meets my gaze. “I told you what I thought we should do and I meant it. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And I’ve been talking with my therapist about it, and processing my grief with her, and while I miss my mom, I’m actually doing pretty well. I have a lot of positive memories to hold on to and that helps, and I know how much she loved me.”
Wesley nods and I move my hand. He seems almost sad and I take it as a good sign. “So, therapy is going well then?”
I nod. “It is. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and how my father’s absence affected me and my choices without me even realizing it. We talked about how I have a fear of abandonment and how that’s affected our relationship. She thinks that’s why I broke up with you both times, and why I was so scared of not being good enough for you.”
Wesley nods again. “You’ve been through a lot, Cooper. It makes sense.”
“It doesn’t excuse what I put you through.” I turn sorrowful eyes on him that I hope convey my remorse. “I’m so sorry, Wesley. I can’t –”
“Shh.” He puts his fingers to my lips. “I know how sorry you are Cooper, and you don’t have to keep saying it.” Then he says three words that mean everything to me. “I forgive you.”
Tears slide down my cheeks as Wesley pulls his fingers away. My chest heaves ever so slightly. “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling like a thousand pound weight has been lifted off my chest. “Does that mean that you are willing to go to therapy with me?”
Wesley reaches over and squeezes my hand and I shiver. It’s been so long since I felt his skin against mine.
“Yeah,” he says, and then pulls my hand to his mouth and presses his lips to my knuckles. My breath leaves me.
“You are my favorite person in all the world, Cooper. I would do anything for you. And I’m so proud of you for taking the initiative to start therapy and for wanting to do everything you can for yourself and for us. That really showed me how much you love me, how much you care, and how much you are willing to fight for me and for us and our relationship, and I want to do the same. So yeah, I’ll go to therapy with you.”
I smile and hug him tightly. “Thank you.”
“I uh, I have one more thing I wanted to show you.” I pull away, unable to keep the smile from my face.
Wesley eyes me. “Okay,” he says.
I reach in my back pocket and hand him a folded piece of paper, biting my bottom lip as he unfolds it and begins to read. I see the moment his breath catches, and his eyes meet mine, glistening with unshed tears.
“Is this for real?” he asks, and I nod. He looks back down at my acceptance letter and the tears slide down his cheeks as a wide smile breaks out over his beautiful face.
“You’re going to school?” he says, looking back up at me. “You’re going to be a pilot?”
“Yeah,” I say softly. I scoot closer and wipe away his tears. “I told you I wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of my dreams anymore, Wes, and I meant it.”
“Oh my god.” He laughs and takes my face into his hands before pressing his lips to mine firmly. I grunt, my eyes widening, but I’m certainly not going to fight it. “Shit, sorry,” he says, pulling away, looking flustered and a bit embarrassed.
I laugh and stroke his cheek. “Don’t ever apologize for kissing me.”
He blushes. “I just…” he holds up the letter. “I think this might be the sexiest thing you’ve ever done.”
I smile. “I’m not saying I’m glad my mom passed away, but I was able to use her life insurance to get a nicer apartment, and I’ll be able to use the rest of it to pay for college, and I think that’s how she would have wanted it.”
“I think so, too,” Wesley says. “I’m so proud of you, Cooper. And speaking of moms, I uh, I told my mom the truth about us.”
