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I’m just grateful, I try to convince myself as I listen intently to what he’s telling me.I respect him, that’s all.
My father has a lot of respect for him as well. Dad has told me a lot about his neighbor and the new friendship that they havedeveloped, and I can see why he likes Finn so much now. He really is a great guy. That’s all this feeling is…
But the butterflies flapping in the pit of my stomach and the way that my pulse is racing suggest otherwise. The way that my lungs won’t suck in enough air, making my breaths all ragged and strange, seems to differ as well. Even if my brain isn’t yet ready to accept it, my body knows that this is so much more than just a respect thing. This is something new and exciting, something that thrills me right down to the core of my bones. I have never felt this way about anyone before.
There were guys in college, men who wanted to date me, even guys whom I liked a little bit, but never enough for anything major to happen. If I had ever felt likethisover them, then maybe I would have focused less on my studies and more on them, but it wasn’t the case. Trust me to get these confusing feelingsnowover a guy who’s off limits entirely.
He’s my boss, he’s my dad’s friend, he’s my neighbor, he’s a lot older than me… there are so many reasons he’s a no-go. Even if he is a classic tall, dark, and handsome, which really gets me going. As does his muscular body, his broad shoulders, and his crinkly green eyes. My God, he’s gorgeous. Far too handsome. It should be illegal for him to be this good-looking.
“Anyway, I think it might be lunch time.” Finn glanced at his watch and grinned. “If you want to take a break.”
“Oh, right. Sure.” I tried to smile back, but to be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to being away from him. How sad was that? How had I already become the woman who wanted to hang around her boss like a saddle? “Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Do you remember where the canteen is? Or do you need me to come with you to show you the way?”
“I can remember, it’s okay. Thank you, though, Finn.” Ooh, I love the way his name feels on my lips. “See you soon.”
I grab my bag but don’t exactly make it to the canteen first. I can’t face anyone, especially a bunch of people I barely know when my head is this twisted up in knots. I need a moment alone to get myself in order first, and the only place that I can think of to do that is in the bathroom. I race into one of the cubicles and lock myself away for a second.
Oh, wow,I think desperately as I lean my back against the door with my eyes closed.Finn Robinson is something else…
My core buzzes with need, it screams with desire. I have a funny feeling that I need to give my body just the littlest bit of attention if I don’t want to be a complete shambles all afternoon. It’s easy to justify, even if it’s definitely wrong, because it might get my head in order. I might be able to focus better this afternoon if I’m not so… needy.
I drop my bag onto the floor as my fingers slide down my body. I know I’m like a mad woman right now, completely out of control, but that doesn’t stop me. I hitch up my pencil skirt, completely forgetting that I’m supposed to be a professional in this outfit, and I slip my eager fingers into my panties. Imagining Finn kissing me hard, whispering my name into my ear, brushing his hands all over my body sets me alight. I’m doused in flames and I love it. The more I stroke my soaking wet slit, the better I feel.
“Ooh,” I whisper moan. I don’t want to make too much noise as I trace patterns over my clit, but it’s hard to keep the feelingsinside. This is the hottest, the wildest, the most animalistic and out of control I have ever felt in my life and I love it. “Oh, wow.”
As imaginary Finn picks up the pace and he starts finger fucking me, I lose my goddamn mind. My head bangs hard against the bathroom door as the pressure of pleasure gets to me, as I can feel myself climbing to the top of the mountain, about to tip over the edge into oblivion completely. I so want this to be real, I need it to be reality, but since that isn’t going to happen, I’m going to have to be satisfied with my sneaky little moment alone, making myself feel amazing over him.
The pleasure finally gets to me. It knocks me off my feet, it’s so phenomenal. It explodes at my core and leaves me breathless and in heaven. Oh, my God, what is Finn doing to me?
3
FINN
What a day.I really feel like I’ve been put through the wringer as I finally get home and close the front door behind me.What a goddamn day.That was unlike any day I have had in a very long time, and I know exactly why.Wow, what will I do?
Stella… Stella freaking West. Wow, what a woman. What a gorgeous, heart-stopping woman. I knew it from the very first moment that I saw her, and now I know it even deeper within me. She’s stunning, a sexy little minx with a definite cheeky side of her even if no one has seen it yet, and she’s sweet as well. She’s really nice and funny, intelligent in a way that captivates me. I haven’t felt this fascinated by someone in a very long time, which is a serious issue for me.
“Goddamn it, Finn,” I warn myself as I walk inside. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you being like this?”
Maybe it’s because of Nicole. Perhaps that’s the issue. I might be going a little insane because of the announcement I saw online last week. Admittedly, I haven’t thought about it much since I first got annoyed by it, but that’s because of Stella. She’s beenon my mind ever since. But perhaps that’s why. My brain would rather think about the hot new girl next door whom I definitely can’t go anywhere near than about what my ex and her new man are up to. It’s just as dreadful, but in a better way.
“Don’t let her tempt you,” I declare as I stomp over to the couch to try and have a moment of relaxation. I’m starving but don’t even want tothinkabout cooking. Once my brain has stopped racing, I’ll order myself takeout. “Don’t cave to temptation.”
The issue is I haven’t been tempted like this in forever. Especially not with someone who is so wrong for me. God, that makes Stella a million times more out of my league, and so much more of a thrill on top of that. I thought it would be the best thing to do, keeping her close to me and helping her work. I assumed that I was doing the right thing for Bill, but to be honest, I found it hard to keep my eyes, and even worse, my hands, off her all day long. All I wanted to do was touch her, feel her, taste her.
The number of times I almost grabbed her and kissed her, pressed her up against the desk and just took her was too much. There were times when I felt it from her as well, when I justknewthat she wanted me as well, just as badly. Then it was even harder to keep my hands off her. I had to keep reminding myself that she is off limits, over and over again.
“She’s too innocent, isn’t she?” I remind myself as I flick the television on just for some background noise. Anything to distract me from this. “She’s just a young girl. Not someone I can corrupt… even if that idea gets a little too much for me.”
Shit, the idea of corrupting her, of turning her inside out to see what’s really there underneath her, is even more tempting than anything else. I want to escape this feeling, I want to get as far away from all of this as possible, because it’s hard enoughto devour while I’m in the office. I’m at home now, in my safe space. I shouldn’t be quite so tied up in knots about Stella…
But I can’t escape her here, can I? Not knowing that she’s just next door, practically within touching distance of me. I would only need to stand outside and call her name to have her back by my side, making me feel this way once more. That’s absolutely killer. It creates a stirring inside me like nothing else. I really haven’t felt this way before for anyone.
I try to think back to the moment I met Nicole, the one person I have actually been in love with in my life, to see if I felt this needy for her as well, but it’s hard. It’s challenging to even think of Nicole now without remembering the sting of her betrayal. Every moment that I once enjoyed has been tainted with what she did afterward. I can’t remember her withouthimas well.
But to be honest, I don’t think it was anything like this. There wasn’t any desperation for her, no need to touch her growing inside me with each passing second. There wasn’t this depth between us. It was just easy. We met back in college and seemed to just easily slide into a relationship together. I don’t even really remember it happening. It just happened.
