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It was the coolest I had felt since I arrived in Fire, and it was lovely.
Calliope had told me about the rainy season, and as each day passed, the clouds drew closer from the horizon, heavy and threatening. I hoped that the rains would wait until after the wedding, but the closer the clouds came, the less sure about it I was.
My teeth knocked against each other as I jogged up the small path to Leo’s front door, my knuckles rapping against the heavy wood. I tucked my numb fingers under my armpits as I waited for him to answer, hopping from foot to foot to try and keep some warmth about myself.
Leo, thankfully, did not take long to answer the door. His perplexed face appearing amidst the warm orange glow from the inside of his hut and giving way to a welcoming smile as he realised who it was standing in front of him.
“Hello, Your Majesty.” His kind voice was nearly taken by the wind as he stood to the side for me to move pasthim. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
I was worried he would scold me for the late hour, or that he would turn me away, telling me he was too tired to be of any more assistance tonight, but as I stepped into the welcoming warmth of the hut, I let myself relax slightly.
“I need you to teach me how to control myself.” I said through still somewhat gritted teeth. The feeling of burning had worked itself out of my stomach, but the veins in my arms still pulsed angrily, and the star on my hand shone bright against the underside of my arm.
Leo smiled softly, nodding his head as he placed down the mug he was holding.
“How do you feel right now?” He asked, pushing his small collection of furniture back towards the sides of the hut and waving his hand over them. I watched as a golden sheen fell over the furniture, cloaking it like a sheet over a forgotten painting. I furrowed my eyebrows, watching him as he did it again and again to different objects around the room.
“Upset.” I said finally, nodding my head slightly and turning where I stood, still watching Leo as he did whatever it was he was doing. “Angry. Agitated. Determined, I think.”
“Good. They’re all good.” Leo nodded, bringing a large book out from underneath a table, and placing it on the floor in front of me. “How were you feeling two nights ago?”
“Anxious.” I grit out through my teeth. My body had begun to burn, and Leo’s voice warbled as though I was being pushed under water. “Like my body wanted to burn from the inside out.”
Leo simply nodded again, sitting himself on the floor in front of me and crossing his legs. He held out a hand, and, with a lot of effort to make my legs unlock, I knelt in front of him. The carpet around my knees began to smoke, and I winced, but I placed my hand in Leo’s. The shining, white star made us both squint.
Leo squeezed my hand in his, a smile on his face.
“You’re doing well.” He reassured me, and I tried to smile back at him, but I’m sure it came out as more of a grimace. “You need to not fear your magic.”
“How?” I groaned, my eyes slipping closed as the edges of my vision started to turn black, my limbs feeling like they were being burned where I sat.
“You and your magic are not separate entities,” Leo’s voice was far away, like Cyrus’s had been in the alleyway, “It works with you. The more you fight it off, the stronger it will be when it finally gets freed. Focus on where it is coming from.”
I scrunched my eyes closed tighter, trying to decipher where in my body the burning had originated from. The twang in my heart when I thought of home, of my friends and of Emily, seemed to be the most probable choice, so Ileaned into the feeling, engulfing myself in the mix of pain and happiness they brought with them.
I let my brain roam down the road that I so desperately had been trying to ignore since I got to Fire. Let it wander into the countryside of Earth, up into Bayshell, and into the skies on the back of Aepein. I let it run wild through the corridors of my castle, through the fields with Freya, and around the ballroom with Cyrus. I watched myself as I was crowned Queen, I grew up in but did not know was mine until weeks before. I was a spectator suddenly at my training sessions with Maeteo, Hollis and Tarian, the three of them laughing as I was sick in the grass at the side of the ring.
I watched Maeteo as he ran into battle for me, gaining only the most superficial of injuries, only for me to lose control and nearly kill him. The vision of him flying through the air, across an entire street and into the side of a building, made something in my chest snap.
I gasped for breath as the burning pain gave way to an almost euphoric relief. My eyes shot open, finding Leo’s grinning face.
My hand, still held in his, was burning.
But the rest of my body was not. My arms, while still pulsing with golden veins, were not engulfed as they had been until this morning. They were untouched. I looked up at Leo with wide eyes, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to find words.
“Move your hand.” Leo said, nodding encouragingly.
I did as he said, turning my hand over and watching as the flames moved with me. Leo’s grin grew larger, and he sat forward, his elbows leaning on his crossed knees.
“Good! Good. Now, focus on how it feels when it moves.”
I furrowed my eyebrows, looking back at my hand and turning it back and forth. The flames moving felt like nothing I could describe. It felt both like nothing, and like I was pulling my hand through sea water. The hair on my arms moved with it, like it was being pushed by an invisible wind.
“It feels strange,” I noted, looking from my hand to Leo and back again, not wanting to miss anything, or risk losing my hold on it. I could feel it weakening the longer the flames stayed in my hand, and I let out a heavy breath.
“It will.” Leo nodded, “Do you think you can try to move it independently? See if you can focus it into a ball in the palm of your hand rather than having it all over your hand.”
I looked at Leo with an eyebrow raised. I had barely enough control over this as it was, and now he wanted me to do tricks.
