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It was so much easier to hide. To do what I was told. But I was eighteen now, and it was time I made my own way.
Dancing would be a hell of a lot better than pushing salads on people all day. I’d make twice or three times the money in half the time. Then I’d quit, armed with the experience.
At least I would’ve had some.
“I’ll be home before Edward climbs onto the fire escape,” I promised Mia, hanging up before she could guilt me into heading home without finding out what it would be like.
If I hated it, I could quit. I was sure women quit here all the damn time.
Somehow I made it down the spiral staircase, with my palm pressed flat to the wall beside me to help with my balance. Dizziness swarmed my head, blurred my vision. Laughing faces in front of me wavered and bled together, turning into one taunting mass.
Maybe I really wasn’t capable of handling an atmosphere like this. I was meant to stay in my apron behind my chopping board, making food for people without ever truly finding a place to belong. Shadows like me clung to corners. I’d never been the one to dominate a news story. Never been the one a man would risk his life to have. I was destined to hide away in the kitchen while the party raged on down the hall.
Unless I took steps to change that. Tonight. No backing down.
Taking advantage of Giovanni being occupied upstairs, I pushed my way through the crowd until I was in the hallway where we’d talked earlier. He’d manhandled me, but he still hadn’t been too rough. His intention wasn’t to hurt me, just scare me off. I’d seen the truth of that in his eyes.
But he’d failed on both levels. Iwashurt, and I wasn’t going anywhere. I was going to see this through. Not because he spent time here. Or not only because of that.
Something was going on with him beyond his search for no strings sex acts, and I needed to know what.
I found the office the guy at the door had directed me to and knocked. Knocked again when there was no response. Anger and humiliation and something darker and twistier had propelled me to this point. This seedy club should’ve made me flee into the night and never come back. But for some reason, I was…lured.
Just like Giovanni lured me. There was a mystery to both, more that lurked beneath the surface, and I wouldn’t find out just what if I went home to my safe, chaste little bed.
No, fuck that, I didn’t evenhavemy own bed in my sister’s apartment. I couched it. She shared the bed with Fox when he stayed over. My sister and I couldn’t live crammed together like sardines forever.
Once I had my training, I’d have to work my way up as a chef.
Here, I’d start at the top of the food chain. And I’d be in control. I’d say who got to touch and who didn’t. I’d have everyone’s eyes onme.
The girl in the shadows would finally be in the spotlight.
“Yeah, yeah, come in,” a woman called.
Rubbing my clammy hands on my thighs, I walked inside the office.
GIOVANNI
“You okay, sweetheart?”
Brenda wiped her mouth and blinked up at me, clearly surprised. I imagined there weren’t many men here who asked if she was all right after she performed the back room service she’d been paid for. These kinds of things weren’t supposed to take place, but everyone knew they did.
Now Carly did too.
Revulsion slickened my gut, tasted like fire at the back of my throat. How had I become this man? I’d just had an orgasm, but it didn’t matter because I wasn’t thinking about the lovely, unnerved young woman between my thighs. I was focused on Carly.
Again. Still.
I imagined her walking out the door and heading back to her battered car in the lot down the street. It had been a risk allowing her to follow me, but I’d seen her at the fights too often lately, and I couldn’t allow her childlike interest in me to stand. Snuffing it out quickly and painlessly was the kindest thing I could do for her.
For us both.
“I’m fine.” Brenda stood up unsteadily and pressed her hand to her mouth.
Knowing she could still taste me brought a flush to the back of my neck. If the circumstances had been different, knowing that would’ve filled me with a possessive, masculine pride. But they weren’t different, and the fact that my intentions were to save one girl didn’t detract from the fact that I’d just taken advantage of another.
It wasn’t enough that I’d fucked her between her soft, pale lips. Toward the end, I’d gotten rough. I’d tried not to. Every time my fists tightened in her hair, I’d fought to gentle my hold. But she was skilled, and it had been a while since I’d had a release.
