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This place is so barren.
Stepping over to a wooden crate, I sit and take a long breath.
I need a fucking minute.
To think about what the hell is happening.
I just got my hands dirty.
That’snothow this place works.
Boss won’t be happy about the shit that just went down if he finds out, but worse than that, it fucking felt good. This isnotwho I want to be and why I shifted up the ranks. To stop all the dirty work falling on my shoulders. Sure, I order the other men to carry it out, but it stopped me from doing it myself. This isnotwho I am. Not the man I need to be if I want to make it with Makaylie. If she knew this man, this monster, she’d never,everlove me.
Maybe she can see through me.
Maybe she sees the monster within.
Maybe that’s why she left me.
Maybe she’s better off without me.
But what I do know is being without her is turning me back into a bloodthirsty devil who needs to be reined in.
Makaylie kept my devil at bay.
I can’t let the devil win.
Ineedto fight this.
Makaylie is worth fighting for, and I can protect her better by her side than by herself.
Pulling out my cell, I stare at it momentarily before making a judgment call.
I shouldn’t do this.
But being there to protect her is better than having her out there fending for herself.
So I send her a simple text.
Me:I love you.
CHAPTER FIVE
MAKAYLIE
Day One Post Cain
GRIEF
Joey came home sometime during the night to find me curled up in a ball just inside the front door. I wasn’t crying anymore, but I couldn’t think. There was nothing but a persistent dull fuzz filling my brain. She got me up and somehow walked me to my room. I know she was talking to me, but I wasn’t replying.
There were no words.
I had nothing to say.
She helped me into my pajamas, and I didn’t even care that my panties were still on the floor back in the restaurant’s restroom.
I was numb.
