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She’s pale.
Her eyes are closed.
She’s not breathing.
Blind panic and terror fill me.
“Fuck! Makaylie,nooo,” I scream, pulling her head back as I start thumping on her chest.
I don’t know if I’m doing it right.
I take lives.
I don’t save them.
I cover her mouth with mine. Her lips are ice blue as I force as much air into her as humanly possible, considering my injuries. I do it three times. I don’t even know if that’s right. I have no fucking clue what the hell I am doing.
“Come on, baby. Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking go out like this,” I demand, pushing down on her chest again. I press hard, and her whole body moves with the force of my thrusts. I don’t want to break her, but fuck I’d rather her be alive and have a broken rib or two than her be fucking dead.
My lips meet hers again, another three breaths. Makaylie’s chest rises and falls along with my breaths, but once I stop breathing for her, her movements stop again.
Fucking hell!
My heart aches, and I feel physically ill.
I. Did. This.
It’s because of me she’s dying before my eyes—if she isn’t dead already.
“Fuuuck!” I call out and continue to pump on her chest, but nothing. I glance over to see my cell and swallow hard, deciding I need help. I don’t know what I’m doing, and I don’t have time to fuck around. I stand, racing so fast I fumble and nearly trip over as I reach it, then dial 9-1-1 as quickly as possible.
“9-1-1. What is your emergency.”
“I’m at Mississippi River Park. I need an ambulancenow. My girlfriend fell into the water and drowned. She isn’t breathing.”
“Okay, sir, I have dispatched an ambulance. They should be there soon. Stay on the line and—”
I end the call. I don’t have time to talk to the operator as I race back to Makaylie to continue with CPR until they arrive. The next however long it takes is like a haze of me pushing and trying so hard to get her back, but she just keeps turning paler and paler. Her lips are blue, and her body is unmoving.
The sound of the sirens blazing brings me back into the now. I watch EMTs racing toward us. They’re yelling at me as one carries a machine and the other a bag of supplies. I step back, panting, completely out of breath, as I let them do what they need to do.
I’m in a fog.
I can’t hear anything as they talk to each other while I stand back with my hands on my head, hoping and praying that they can do something.
My chest squeezes as I stare at her still body.
She looks too far gone to come back now.
One EMT pulls out some paddles as the other rips open her jacket, then her top, exposing her bra. I tense as I step forward, wanting to say something, the man in me hating that they’re exposing my woman like this.
The EMT calls “Clear,” then places the paddles on her chest. Her body convulses, jolting up from the ground with the shock of electricity pulsing through her to bring her heart back into rhythm.
“Fuck,” I murmur. I look out at the water that could have been Makaylie’s grave and clench my jaw as I look back while they check for a heartbeat.
“Clear.” He shocks her again.
Her body lifts with force, and I grimace at the thought of her not living through this.
