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My stomach sinks as I shake my head. “So her parents will never have closure on her killer?”
Rodberg rounds the kitchen counter, bringing me a cup of tea. He places it on the coffee table and sits beside me on the sofa. “It’s not the best or most painless plan, but it’s the only one we have without putting Cain, his witness protection, and the entire operation of bringing in Hattrick and the Baton Rouge Bachelors into the spotlight. Makaylie, I know this sucks, especially for Joey’s parents. It will be a heartache they will never get over, but sometimes, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”
“Did you seriously just quote Spock to me while talking about something so fucking serious?” I glare at him.
He reaches out, taking my hands in his. “I did. But hear me out. Spock and his Vulcan logic actually work in this instance. Joey’s family are the unfortunate ones who must suffer so that this case can continue being worked. I can try to get permission from higher up that once we find Trap and everything is settled, we can tell them the truth. But I can’t guarantee it. Until then, and only if I get the approval, we will have to go with the cover story and stick to it… it’s the only way.”
I get it.
I do.
That doesn’t mean I have to like it.
“Can I call her brother? I don’t think I can lie to her parents. Her asshole brother, however, I think I will find it easier to talk to him about this.”
“Absolutely, you want me to be here. Or should I go?” Rodberg asks.
Taking in a deep breath, I exhale heavily. “I think this is something I have to do on my own. Thanks for taking care of me. You don’t know how much I appreciate it.”
He leans in, wrapping his arms around me. “I know I have been a handful, Makaylie, but I am, and always will be, your friend. Remember that. Cain means a lot to me. We may not have seemed like it, but we were actually good buddies. He may be a criminal, and I may be a Fed, but somehow, we clicked and worked. So I will do everything I can to honor that friendship… which means honoring you too.”
“So was all that Iron Rod stuff just an act?” I ask.
He chuckles, grinning from ear to ear. “Partly, but also not. I have to act a certain way at work. With Cain, I could let my hair down, unwind, and let it all out. Basically, it was a bit of fun.”
I can’t help but smile. “It wasn’t all bad. You were… interesting, that’s for sure.”
He grins, stands, and winks at me. “Iron Rod isn’t gone, cutie pie, don’t be mourning for him too. If you need me, I’ll be upstairs. I had the guys put an emergency call button near your bed, one in the bathroom and another in the kitchen, that sounds an alarm straight to my apartment. Don’teverhesitate to use it, okay?”
Somehow, that makes me feel better.
“Thank you…James.”
He shudders like the sound visibly irritates him. “No, stick with Rodberg. James is way too formal for you to use.” I smile before he turns for the door. “Remember, if you need me?”
“I’ll call. Thank you.”
“Try to get some sleep, okay?” he suggests, opening the door.
I nod and say, “I’ll try,” before picking up my cell.
He dips his chin, then steps out of my apartment and closes the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts and Joey’s belongings. I glance across, pick up Joey’s favorite throw blanket, and slide it over my legs. It smells like her, and a single tear flows down my cheek, pooling at my chin. I don’t even know how to process this grief.
I’m torn because I am so fucking lost without Joey.
I’ve known her my entire life.
How do I even begin to live in this world without her?
And then I feel guilty for not thinking about Cain in the same breath.
When I do think about him being gone, a fresh wave of grief hits me. At least I have a small sense of hope that he’s okay. Wherever he is, the hope that he will return to me is the only thing keeping me going right now.
I don’t know how long it will take, but Cain is a fighter andwillfind a way back to me.
I am sure of it.
“Damn you, Trap!” I mumble to myself, swiping under my runny nose as I hit my screen for Deacon’s number.
