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“Does your mouth hurt?” I asked.
Will shrugged. “A little.”
I didn’t take offence that Will wasn’t in the mood to talk. It was rare that he fell into moods like this, but not unheard of. It used to happen a lot when we were teenagers, and his father was in town. I knew from experience that Will would open up when he was ready.
“Big night,” I commented softly.
Will spared me a swift, incredulous look. “Big fucking disaster.”
I looped my arm through his and dropped my head on his arm. I welcomed his frustration so long as he was talking to me about it. “No. Big fucking success with a little hiccup at the end.”The thought of Tristan made my pulse surge with fury. “That sleazeball had it coming.”
Will didn’t reply and instead dragged his phone from a pocket and swiped to his voice messages. Selecting one marked “Jason Maloney”, he hit play and put the message on loudspeaker.
“Will? This is Jason Maloney. I’m on my way back to Sydney, but I wanted to let you know immediately that I’ll be retracting my offer of investment in your bar and brewery. Given tonight’s events, I’m sure you understand that it’s no longer in my firm’s best interest to pursue a partnership, and I’ve been advised to cut ties without delay. Good luck to you.”
I blinked at the bright screen as the phone went silent. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. JasonlikedWill. He was behind his business plan one hundred percent. He said it had the potential for huge gains over the next three years. They were excited about working together, and after one little punch, this guy was going to bail?
I tamped down the hurt I felt on Will’s behalf. He needed support and a voice of reason now, not more fuel poured on this emotional bin fire.
Will switched off his phone before tucking it back in his suit pants. “Big. Fucking. Disaster.”
“He’s just one investor,” I replied. “Just one option and nothing was put on paper yet anyway. There’ll be other chances to pitch your business—”
“Not like that,” Will cut in. “Not after tonight.”
He dropped his head into his hands, and I stared silently at my fingertips. I wanted so badly to soothe him, but I couldn’t find the right words.
“I knew I’d screw this up,” he muttered.
The resentment in his voice alarmed me because it was so out of character. “You knew you’d screwwhatup?”
Will laughed. “Everything? I’m a lousy father who’s barely seen his son these last three days and not much more in the last three weeks. And the only way I could justify spending less time with him and more time on the business and this stupid fucking tournament was because I told myself I was doing it all for him. To build something forhim. To makehimproud. And look at me. I’ve worked my arse off to achieve something I would have thought impossible a year ago, and I’ve blown it all. I’m sitting in the fucking gutter after knocking someone to the ground for touching my girl. What part of that sentence would make any son proud of his dad?”
An iron band snapped shut around my ribs and made it hard to breathe. Will wasn’t blaming me for this, was he? Not directly and not intentionally, but he was clearly struggling with what happened as much as why, and I heard alarm bells.
I was going to ignore them. We just had to get through tonight, and tonight wasn’t about me.
I dropped my head on Will’s arm again and held on tighter. The urge to stop his fear was creeping into panic. “I mean, your girl’s pretty pleased with you.”
Will shook his head. “You shouldn’t be.”
The iron band around my chest clamped down harder. I straightened and pulled my arm from his. “What do you mean?”
He stared at the road between his feet. “I don’t know how to be a boyfriend, Abs, and the more I think about how we got here, the less I understand it. We didn’t really choose this, did we? You didn’t choose it. You needed a place to stay while your apartment was unliveable, and I was too scared to be alone with Seb that I took advantage of the situation. You were stuck, and I pushed too hard, and we ended up here.”
I blinked as my head spun and my heart screamed. Now was the time to confess that I could have gone home weeks ago, and I opened my mouth to say the words, but something stopped me.
What if I told him, and it made no difference? What if it made him mad? I couldn’t tell him I’d manipulated my way into his home because, to start, I didn’t think he could take care of a baby by himself, and then later, I didn’t want to be without him or his beautiful son. How would he react if I told him I was as much invested in his success as he was, giving so much of myself to support him while he worked so damn hard to support a family that I thought included me? Would my dependency on Will make him stronger—strong enough to hold us up while we got through this rough patch—or would it be the thing that broke him?
53
Abbie
I was suddenly awareof my vulnerability. I’d put myself in this position willingly with my whole heart because I trusted Will, but now I felt unsafe.
“What are you saying, Will?” I whispered.
“I don’t know. I’m saying I love you, but you deserve better. I’m saying I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t know if I have what it takes to make this work. I’m sick of screwing everything up, and I can’t let people love me if I’m only going to let them down. I know how that feels.”
