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My mouth was dry, and it hurt to swallow. I knew he’d do this. Iknewit. Sex, he could handle. My heart? I should never have let him have it. The danger of him breaking it had never really gone away.
I was a fucking idiot.
Will turned to look at me with tears in his eyes, and my heart broke all over again.
We were both idiots.
I picked up his hand with a sigh, threading his fingers through mine and kissing his knuckles. Before we were lovers, we were friends—best friends—and nothing would change that. Will loved me, but he had some work to do before he learned to love himself. Until then, I just had to love him enough for the both of us—even if it hurt like hell.
“Seb is what matters right now,” I assured him. “He’ll always be your number one priority. As for work, well… There are a few days left of the festival, but it’ll all be wrapped up by Valentine’s Day. The weekend crowds will thin out, and things will be more manageable from tomorrow on. When the dust settles, you can get your head on straight and make a plan.”
I snorted, though it took effort to be so blasé. “Forget Jason Maloney. You had your heart set on landing an investor, but that kind of cash isn’t the only way to make things happen. Go back to your original plan. Will it take longer? Maybe, but slower might be better. It’ll give you more time to focus on Seb, who adores you. You could never let him down. It’s impossible.”
Will traced little circles on the back of my hand, frowning as his thumb moved around and around. A little of the tension had left his body, which told me he’d bought my act. “My dad let me down all the time. It happens, Abs.”
“You are not your father,” I replied fiercely.
“Yeah.” He grunted and shifted his feet. “I know.”
I could have pushed him a little more on that, but I had to get to the hard part now, or I might not be able to get through it. I squeezed his hand. “And as for us? You’re right, things moved fast, and maybe it’s smart to rewind a little. In fact, I had a missed call from the insurance company yesterday, letting me know my building is ready. Perfect timing, I guess. Things between us will be back to the way they used to be before the end of the weekend.”
My heart thumped in my throat as I waited for his response. I hated myself for hoping he’d ask me to stay.
“Fuck.” Will dropped his head. “I don’t want you to go, but…”
My heart plummeted, and there was a painful pause.
“I have to,” I finished with a crack in my voice.
Will met my eyes and nodded slowly. I had to go. Not to end us but to save us.
Behind us, a light switched on in the house, and Will cleared his throat as we both got to our feet. “That’ll be the baby.” He gestured to the front door. “Do you want to—”
“No.” I lifted a hand and stepped back, then plucked out my phone and sent a rushed text to Adam, asking him to pick me up. I’d never needed to get away from a situation faster than I did right then. He replied straightaway with a thumbs-up emoji, and my breath hitched with relief. “That’s okay. You go. You need time with your son, and I need to pack.”
I need you to walk away now before you see me cry.
Will watched me with regret painted across his face. “It’s after midnight, Abs. And there’s no rush. It can wait a few days.”
“It really can’t,” I replied with an unintentional snap of defensiveness, and I took a calming breath. “If I’m going to go, I need to go now. But I’m still here to help with Seb, all right? You’ve got work and the festival—”
“No. It’s okay.” Will’s gaze drifted to the lit window and back again, his eyes shining with hurt. “You’ve already done so much, and you must be ready to get back to normal life. I’ll ask Mum for help this weekend.”
At that moment, I wasn’t sure the pain would have been worse if Will had reached into my chest and torn out my heart.
“Well, I’d love to see him, so call me anytime.”
Headlights appeared at the end of the street, coming closer until they stopped a few paces away.
“That’s Adam,” I said, and before we could hurt each other anymore, I slipped my arms around Will’s narrow waist and pressed my face to his chest. His warm, familiar arms circled me, and his lips landed on my hair, his chest expanding in a long, even breath.
“Everything will work out in the end. You’ll see.”
I’d told him what we both needed to hear. I doubted either one of us believed it.
54
Will
