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“I’ve had pelvic inflammatory disease for the last few years. It’s been bad. The docs did exploratory surgery, cleared away scar tissue, had a general poke around. They said it’s not impossible for me to have kids but it’s going to be tough. Very tough…”
She trailed off, overwhelmed by the thought of not giving this incredible man the babies he deserved. She inhaled deeply, hoping the sea air would stave off the heart-wrenching sobs tightening her throat.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” He came up behind her and hugged her close, his body a solid, comforting backdrop in an unfair, unsteady world. “Is there anything I can do?”
She shook her head, wishing he could fix this as well as he’d fixed the empty hole he’d left in her life by simply walking back into it.
“This doesn’t effect us, you know. We’ll face whatever happens together.”
Not effect them? That wasn’t entirely true and they both knew it. This house clearly symbolized his hopes for the future, a future that may not include kids no matter how much she wanted it to.
Sighing, she turned to face him, propping her butt on the sill and bracing her hands on his chest.
“You wouldn’t have built this house, designed it as a family home, unless you wanted to fill it with a noisy, boisterous bunch of kids, yeah?”
His face softened when she said the K word, and while he may have said it wouldn’t effect them, she had her answer before he spoke.
“Yeah. Guess I’m tired of being the doting uncle to my sisters’ broods and I want in on the action. The mess, the fun, the laughs, I want it all.”
A tiny crack appeared in her heart, splintering outward at the realization of how incredible he really was, and what she’d be giving up if she did the right thing and set him free to follow his dream with someone else.
“Listen to me, Cam. The docs said it would be hard, so we’ll try. And if it doesn’t work we’ll explore other options. Nothing’s impossible as long as we’re together.”
Reaching out, he drew her closer and she let him, eager to believe his words yet knowing she’d be selfish for taking a risk on them when she may never be able to give him the family hedeserved. Her hands slid up his chest, anchoring her, while the rest of her world spun out of control.
“Cam, look at me.”
She shook her head, keeping her gaze firmly fixed on his chest. Looking into those incredible grey eyes right now would be tantamount to staring into an eclipse: she’d burn and combust.
“I want you in my life, as my wife,” he murmured, his lips grazing her temple while he stroked her back.
Relaxing into the protective circle of his arms, she closed her eyes, relishing the heat flowing from his palms through her hooded top and onto her skin, savoring the tiny sparks shooting through her as he trailed butterfly kisses down her cheek before brushing her lips with his.
She tilted her face up to receive his kiss, all too aware it could be their last if she set him free, and determined to make the most of it.
“Let’s make this work,” he whispered against the side of her mouth a moment before covering her lips with his and she stiffened as ‘reality check’ flashed through her mind.
They could share a million bone-melting, heart-warming kisses and it wouldn’t change a thing.
She may be infertile.
He wanted kids.
Different goals equalled separate lives.
“I can’t do this.”
She broke away, the wrench devastating as she craved the comfort of his arms with every breath she took, knowing after what she was about to say she may never have that privilege again.
Whirling around to stare at the view again and swipe a hand across her tears, she took several deep breaths, needing to calm before she broke down.
“I love you, Cam.”
“I know.”
Her voice wavered with sadness and unshed tears, as she wished there could be another way around this.
But there wasn’t. He wanted a family, she couldn’t give him that, and the longer this went on, the further she’d fall in love with him, the harder it would be.
