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“Good,” he says, releasing me and shoving me toward the door. “I give people what they want—for the right price. What they do with it is none of my fucking business. I suggest you do the same, or Willow Heights will replace you by next week.”
“Thanks for the tip,” I say before slamming the door behind me. I stalk into the house, pissed at myself for thinking he was a friend. I don’t have any more friends here than Gloria—probably less. I’m just another link in the supply chain.
Colin and I are bound together though, even if we aren’t friends. We’re the supply that fills a demand. If he didn’t sell Cotton what he wants, someone else would. If I’m not his connection at Willow Heights’, someone else will step in. It won’t stop Cotton from doing what he does.
At least this way, I’ll know what he’s getting, and I can watch if he tries anything with Amber.
I grab the money from under my mattress and head back out. Colin’s standing next to his car in the rain, smoking a cigarette. He makes me stand there and count the money before he pulls out the packet from the inside pocket of his jacket.
“Sure you know what you’re doing?” he asks.
“I thought it was none of your fucking business what anyone did with the product once you delivered,” I remind him.
“Yeah,” he says, holding tight to one edge of the packet while I try to pull it away. “It’s just… That’s a kid, man. Is that how they should be brought into the world?”
“That’s rich, coming from a guy who doesn’t use condoms.”
He releases the bag, a grin spreading across his face, showing off his chipped front tooth. “Touché, bitch.”
As I head up the walkway, I wonder if I shouldn’t have brought him here. Now he knows where I live. I moved a little product to survive when we were in a home where the parents didn’t feed us. After we got back, when Mom got bad again, I did it for a few more months to keep the bills paid. But this feels different, like I’m getting deeper into something that I’m not sure I want to be involved in at all. I don’t need money anymore. I’m fucking rich.
But I don’t want to ask Mr. Montgomery for more, and this gives me—and therefore Amber—protection at school. I’m the dealer at Willow Heights, a position as important as head cheerleader and quarterback, though to a different subset of the population. Like Dixie and Colt and the others who don’t fit the mainstream mold, I found my place with the other misfits. No one will mess with me while I’m their connection. Hell, I’m even more special because I get to be a unique individual. After all, there’s a whole football team, but there’s only one dealer.
I just have to keep from fucking up, because the consequences will be a hell of a lot more dire than losing a spot on the football team.
I wait in my room, watching out the window until Colin drives away. Then I cross the lawn, climb the tree outside Gloria’s house, and drop in through her window. She’s not home, but I don’t know how late she’ll stay. I move quickly, opening her drawer and finding the foil packet of birth control pills. I count the empty spots, then pop out an equal number in the new sheet Colin sold me. I slip her packet into my pocket, along with the handful I popped out of the new one, and leave the replacement in her drawer before climbing out and hurrying back across the lawn.
I planned to use those so she’d be tied to me forever, but plans change. Still, I paid good money for the blanks, and I’m not letting them go to waste. She’s not my girlfriend, so I won’t be fucking her anymore, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t pay for her betrayal. She deceived me and ruined my life, so I’m paying her back in kind. If she lets some other asshole fuck her without a condom, she’ll get what she has coming. She deserves it for being such a whore.
twelve
Rumor Has It… After an altercation that got physical at a recent party, the Queen herself may be dateless for Homecoming. Will a Knight in Shining Armor swoop in at the last minute to save her from such a humiliating fate?
Gloria Walton
I used to love to stand at the edge of the water on the beach. I’d plant my feet in the sand and let the waves roll all the way in and wash around my ankles. Each time the water pulled back, I could feel the sand being pulled with it, and my feet would slowly sink in until they were covered.
Now, I wake in a cold sweat from a nightmare about the whole beach being washed away, and no matter how hard I swim, I can’t get back to shore. That’s my life this year. I can feel the solid ground under my feet shifting, can feel the foundation I built slipping away. Once I lose my footing, I’ll be swept out by the waves, and I’ll never gain the ground I lost. I’ll never get back to where I was, to the safety of the shore.
Or maybe the shore was never safe at all.
Something unexpected happens the week after my brother dies, though, something that brings a glimmer of light to the darkness.
Harper comes back to school.
Everyone likes to pit us against each other, act like she came in last year and stole my man, but in truth, she was the kind of friend none of them were. She didn’t care about status, didn’t care what anyone thought, and didn’t fake anything.
Ironic that the one person I can trust to be a real friend is my exact opposite.
I was hurt that she didn’t tell me she was dropping out of school last year, but when she shows up a month into school, we work out our shit. I need a friend like her, even if she ghosted me last year.
And maybe she needs a friend like me, one who will tell her to get her shit together and grab Royal if she wants him back. Between his looks, money, and power in this town, he probably has college girls beating down his door day and night. Harper’s slow to trust him again, but we all end up at the same party that night.
I’m not into Royal anymore, but after the humiliation of Rylan publicly choking me and then dumping me, I need a drink to drown my shame. One drink turns into a few, and when Royal grabs me out of the blue and kisses me, I’m too shocked to react. He drags me to a bedroom, and I know there’s no point in protesting. Royal takes what he wants, and I give. That’s how our relationship always worked. And I’d be lying if I said there’s no comfort to be found in his arms. They may not be safe, but they’re familiar. I know what he wants from me, and I know how to give it.
Harper puts a stop to it before things go too far, and I leave them to work out their shit. Someone shoves a shot of something pink into my hand, and I take it. I dance. The floor is crowded with sweaty, horny boys and the drunk girls they’re trying to take home tonight. Dixie’s grinding her ass on Gideon’s dick, and I have to stop myself from grabbing her around the neck like Rylan did me, choking the life out of her for daring to dance with another guy when she has Colt.
She haseverything.
