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And there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. So I watch her flirt, laugh, and have fun while I ignore Duke’s groping hands on my body, force myself not to show my loathing, and keep a smile plastered on my face.
Still, a little tendril of hope sprouts in the wasteland inside me.
What if she and Colt break up?
I can’t think like that. If they broke up, nothing would change. Telling him the truth would still put him in danger. And even if I told, he’d still hate me. He’d hate me even more than he does now.
“Lo,” Dixie squeals, dragging me away from Duke. It’s a relief to get away from him, but that’s short lived. “I saw what happened with you and Rylan. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I say, laughing and waving a hand to dismiss the whole thing. “It was nothing. He’s just passionate, y’know? He’s a musician. They’re like that. Amber plays too. Have you heard her? She’s like, a piano prodigy or something.”
“No, I didn’t know,” she says. “What does he play?”
“He plays guitar,” I say with a smug smile, thankful my rambling distracted her. “It’s so sexy.”
“What was he mad about?” she asks, her eyes wide with concern.
I know she’s fishing for tidbits for her blog, and I curse myself for counting my blessings too soon. I’m too drunk to talk to the gossip queen, too drunk to censor myself the way I need to. She’s dangerous, and I’m not sharp enough to pick my way through the minefield of her questions right now.
“Oh, not much,” I say, turning when a new song comes on, hoping to return to Duke’s groping hands. But he’s found some other girl to dry hump, and Dixie dances around me, so we’re facing each other again.
“It must have been something,” she says. “Eleanor said y’all broke up.”
Damn my sister and her big mouth.
“Of the record, yes,” I say. “He found out I slept with Royal.”
“He didn’t know?”
“No,” I say, scowling at her. “And he doesn’t know about the twins, so don’t tell him.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” she says, giggling and miming zipping her lips. “That sucks that y’all broke up though. And right before Homecoming…”
“It’s fine,” I say. “I’m sure we’ll get back together. It was just a little squabble, nothing serious.”
“It looked pretty serious,” she says, glancing at my neck with a doubtful expression.
Not serious enough for her to step in and say something when it was happening, I think bitterly. But then, I can hardly expect her to stop a scene that will surely make her blog. The longer the drama unfolds, the more she’ll have for her story.
“Oh, he’s just very physical,” I say. “He didn’t grab me hard. I barely felt it. He just wanted me to listen.” I adjust my scarf, thankful for the chilly October weather that will let me stay covered until the bruises fade.
The song changes to “Don’t Stop Believin’,” and Dixie’s friends drag her away, all of them jumping up and down and screaming along. I stumble outside and puke up the pink drink.
The fight with Rylan leaves me single for Homecoming week, but Baron ditches his date and sweeps in to replace my boyfriend. All the girls swoon over what a gentleman he is, but I know the truth. It would look bad for the queen to go alone. More than that, it looks good for him to have the most popular girl on his arm. Harper’s shaken up the social order a bit since returning, and he’s trying to make sure everyone knows he’s still the king.
Since he has a twin, he has to share the spotlight, but neither are as perfect for the throne as Royal. I know it’s eating away at Baron, even though he’s feared enough to keep everyone in line. After we take our crowns, he says I can go talk to Rylan, who’s been avoiding me all week. He’s even left our lunch table, opting to sit with his sister and Dixie at Harper’s table instead.
I know he hates crowds and high school dances, so I’m surprised he’s even here, but then, pretty much the entire senior class showed up. Even people who hate this kind of thing don’t want to regret it later, so they come just to say they went to Homecoming. I leave to find him, but instead run into Colt. I’ve had to see him more than I want lately, he’s friends with Harper in addition to being in my senior project. I should stay away, not only because it’s dangerous but because I had a boyfriend up until this week. But he has some hold over me, as if one look in his smoky blue eyes puts me under the same spell I was under last year.
I want to kill him for making me this weak, but I can’t even hurt him. I can’t hurt him because he doesn’t care. He’s the one who hurts me every time, telling me to go away and leave his family alone.
This time, I do.
I walk outside into the cold night, thinking how ironic it is that the Homecoming queen is going home alone again, while the school leper is going home with his adoring girlfriend. She’s not the queen, but she was on Homecoming court. She’s popular, and he’s nothing, and neither of them care. Status and labels don’t matter to them because they’re in love. She’ll pull up her dress and ride his pierced tongue later, get on her knees and crawl for him the way he likes. He’ll hold her against his tattooed chest while they fall asleep in each other’s arms.
And yet, I’m the one everyone will envy. They think I won tonight.
I find Rylan leaning against the trunk of a black Jaguar with Colin Finnegan, smoking a clove cigarette.
