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It was hormones, I told myself. I could feel them in my system as if in shock from what I’d just managed.
But Dusk and Umbra were both safe now, and that meant they could wake up anytime. If they did, they would stop me from leaving.
How would they react when they woke up and I wasn’t here? With my nest and scent and all my pillow work… Umbra could still be happy if I wasn’t there, right?
I had to bite my lip to shove back more tears, thinking of him last night. Of the way he’d held me against him all night. Of the safety I’d felt in his arms. When I’d woken up this morning, for the first time in my life, there had been the briefest heart stopping moment, where there had been nothing to be afraid of.
That’s enough, Shatter, they were never an option.
Not really. It was just a fairytale.
The alpha’s teeth sank into the flesh of my neck.
It was more delicate than I’d been expecting, the pain present but not overwhelming.
“When he bites you, accept his pack.” Aunty Lauren’s instructions rang in my head.
Accept his pack.
There would be an offer. I would feel it.
I didn’t want this, but it was the best I could get, so I desperately searched for the offer, quelling my terror as I tried to ignore the heat of the alpha while his body pressed against mine.
Accept the offer.
Only…
I tried.
A trickle of hot blood slid down my neck, and teeth lingered, igniting every instinct in my body to flee, and yet I couldn’t find what I searched for.
I couldn’t say yes because there was no offer to accept.
“But… Iwanted to accept it,” I said stupidly. Weeks had passed since the bite and I’d tried to figure out what I’d done wrong. Now Uncle had sat me down in his office, and shown me the final report he’d sent to the Institute.
The subject’s attempt at joining a pack has failed. Further testing reveals that she is unable to form a natural bond. The subject is restricted only to artificial pack connections: either princess or dark bonds.
“Shatter, did you understand what it says?” Uncle asked. “I’m sorry, but you will never host a normal bond.”
I stared as that slowly began to saturate my mind… “B-but you said I would never have mates—and that a pack was the only thing left that might fix me.”
“I did. And I’m sorry. These aren’t side effects I’ve ever seen before.”
If he was right, I needed a scent match. Scent matches were the only alphas who could offer princess bonds.
“And the Institute still won't let me leave without a pack?” What a stupid question. I was barely functional anymore.
Still, I’d take the Estate over the Institute. Both were cages, but here there were the gardens, and Aunty Lauren, and I hadsomefreedom.
“Not with your scent as it is. They don’t know enough about your condition. That, on top of your gold pack status, dark bonds are a real threat.”
The thought sent a chill down my spine. The idea of a dark bond with this scent, one that could send alphas into a rage…
No. Far too dangerous. Uncle had been firm. I couldn't argue, either. I didn't want to step from one cage to another.
I just wanted a family… To be good enough for someone… For this unending emptiness to stop.
A tear splashed down onto the words, and I re-read the last line once again, a chill crawling up my spine as I did.
