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I should probably make sure he was comfortable too...
I glanced around.
There was no way I was getting him to the couch, so I brought the couch to him. I grabbed all the cushions and stacked them beside each other on the floor. Then with one great shove, I rolled him onto them. Then I bundled him up like I had Umbra, in blankets and pillows.
There was nothing else to do, right?
But Dusk was still shivering, even with the extra blankets on him, so I curled up under his arm.
Just for a bit.
Just in case.
Then I’d go.
Alpha management was a lot of work.
I lay there for a long, long time. Until his shaking had died down and I’d given him everything I’d given Umbra. Well, except the bite. But he was stable enough without it, I thought. And I didn’t think I could handle a connection with Dusk. I peered up at him, thumb brushing along the cool brown skin of his cheek. For a long second, I was unable to take my eyes from him.
I knew why a bond with him frightened me.
Umbra… I think IgotUmbra. He was different, like me—or I thought he was. My bond should last until he woke, though I could already feel it waning, as if his vicious aura was burning through it faster than normal. But if my temporary bond with him did remain by the time he woke, I think I trusted that the alpha on the other end of that would be exactly who I thought I knew.
But a bond with Dusk?
It would break me if I had a connection with him, and I learned the truth I’d been afraid of this whole time. That his attraction to me wasn’t what he claimed—because how… howcouldit be, really?
And if—somehow—it was…? I think I was even more terrified to find out it was real.
Because what was I supposed to do then?
Both would break me, because I did not have the option of falling in love with Dusk Varis.
Finally, when I was sure it had been long enough, and I was boiling from all of the blankets—I checked him, but he was still on the cool side—I got to my feet.
Okay
I swallowed, staring at the door.
I had my scent and they were out there.
I could go to them: Eric, Gareth, and Flynn with their world stopping scents. They’d seemed interested in me tonight, even though I’d embarrassed myself. I’d kept catching Gareth’s eyes on me and I could swear there had been want in his gaze.
The faintest feather of dread brushed my throat.
I tried to swallow it away.
Nerves were normal. Everything would change after this.
Again.
Things kept changing and that was scary, but this time was the last time. All the other changes had been on the path to get here. To get to my dream. My eyes flickered to Dusk.
Why was my chest so tight?
I had to go.
Now.
