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She was scared and hated confrontation. I knew her like I knew the back of my hand. I’d always thought it was because she was the youngest, and little by little, everyone around her had hooked up with their person, including her mom, but none of them stopped acting like Gemma hadn’t grown up. Which I got. I kinda understood it. I was a younger sibling, too. Jay liked to act like he was so much wiser instead of the fact he was less than two years older than me and didn’t have his life as put together as he liked to make it seem to Mom.
I plopped down on the couch and cupped her face with both my hands, and when her gaze met mine, my heart ached for her. Soon. Soon, she would get that there was no getting rid of me. That I wasn’t going anywhere. She didn’t know that yet because of how new we were, because of how long we’d both been dreaming and wishing for what our reality finally was.
“Talk to me,” I urged. She swallowed heavily.
“I just… You’re leaving, Aiden.”
“I left my freshman year, and we were okay.”
“But what if… what if we’re not and…”
“And what?” I pressed because I needed her to voice her fears. I needed to know what they were so I could reassure her that this wasn’t some kind of fling for me. I was in this for the long haul. Forever.
“And you break my heart.”
“I would never. Do you understand me?” She nodded, but I knew I wasn’t getting through to her. “You know me, Gem.”
“But what if you leave and just…”
“Just what?” I pressed a little harder because I was getting frustrated.
Gemma knew me. She knew me like I knew her. Why couldn’t she believe in me? Believe in us?
“What happens when you go back to school?” she asked, and I tried to relax.
“I was thinking about taking you with me.” I shrugged. She looked at me like I didn’t make sense. “I’m serious.”
“Go with you?”
“You got accepted, Gem,” I reminded her, and she shivered. I grabbed the throw blanket I always kept out for her even before we’d become us because she was always cold.
“I can’t start school yet.”
“Why not?” I knew her mom’s new man had offered to help her pay for it, and if he hadn’t, I knew each of her sisters had. Shit, even if they couldn’t, I’d help her get a loan, and we would pay it off together.
“I don’t know.” She tried to drop her gaze from mine, but I didn’t let her.
“You’ve been putting it off,” I pointed out, and her cheeks pinkened.
“You don’t get it,” she mumbled. I tried to force my body to relax. I let go of the hold on her face and stroked her hair.
“Then explain it to me.” I could see by the flash in her eyes she was about to snap. Good. She needed to. The faster she told me what was clouding shit up in her head, the quicker I could fix it.
“If I leave, everything changes!” Her voice cracked. “Everything, Aiden.” I felt an overwhelming need to protect her. “And I don’t have any control of it.”
“Baby.” I pulled her closer. My arms wrapped around her back, and she rested her head on my shoulder. “Is this why you put off college?” I knew very well I was pushing my way in.
“No, yes, I don’t know.” She sighed. “It felt like”—she paused and sighed— “like everything was changing, and I needed a moment to get my feet on the ground. My sisters and my mom all found someone. All of them found the love of their lives, and I’m happy for them, I am! You know I am.” Her eyes peeked up to look at me.
“I do.”
“I love that they’re happy. I want my sisters and mom to be happy.”
“I know you do.”
“I hate that I sound like a baby, but I just… I wanted a moment, you know? And while I did that, I saved up for our trip. I needed us to have that to look forward to, you know? Our adventure.”
“We did.”
