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It can't be. It can't be him. No, it can’t be him. I tap the screen, bringing me to the profile.
“No. No. No. No. No. No. No,” I mumble almost incoherently, shaking my head and squeezing my eyes shut. I gasp for air as my mind races in a million different directions, trying to process what I'm seeing. And once my brain finally catches up, my heart shatters into a million pieces.
“No!” I scream at the top of my lungs as my vision turns red, rage filling my chest. Anger. Betrayal. Fear. I don’t care what I’m feeling as long as it’s not pain. Because I know once I allow myself to feel the pain of this, it's going to overwhelm me to the point that I might not ever recover.
I grab my pillow and clutch it to myself, heaving my chest up and down, trying to catch my breath, but I can’t. I shove my pillow into my face and scream. I scream and scream and scream. I scream until my throat is raw and my pillow is full of snot and tears.
“Why?” I whisper repeatedly to myself while reading the caption on the photo of some girl wrapped around Chris’ back.
Engaged.
That’s all it says. That’s all it needed to say to destroy me. One word and my life is over.
Chapter 5
“They need to be filed by date.”
I shake my head at Declan. “Why? They are already filed by invoice number and vendor. What difference does it make?”
I wouldn’t be so resistant to change the process if it wasn’t the hundreth one he’s tried changing this week. Most of them don’t even make a difference like this one. I swear he gets off on bossing me around.
“Because. This is the correct way.”
I push against my desk, rolling my chair back to face him. “I’m not changing the whole process without reason.”
His cheek twitches like he’s holding back a smirk, mischief sparkling in his eyes. “That’s not something you get to decide.”
“I’m not changing it without a reason,” I repeat more aggressively this time.
His eyes hit the ceiling as he exhales a sigh. “It needs to be that way for easy access during auditing.”
“I can already search by invoice number, which is listed on the posting register.”
“It could become relevant at a later time. I don’t want it messed up when we can fix it now.”
He walks away before I can respond, which infuriates me even more. It’s a dumb power move he uses, giving himself the last word and making it seem like I’ve been doing my job wrong all these years. I stick my tongue out at his back as he leaves the office.
I spend the next hour or so reorganizing the files to sort by date and explaining the new process with the AP manager and to Nicole in case she’s looking for one. I tell everyone to wait until the first of next month to start as my form of protest. I know Declan isn’t going to fight me on it, but it takes back a little bit of my power.
I shove the break room door open, trying to escape for lunch. I pause in the doorway when I see Declan sitting at my table yet again today. Sighing, I walk over to the fridge and grab my lunch.
I’m not sure why I’m surprised he’s in here. He’s been here almost every day since he started last week. Almost like he’s making a point to be here. He’s even gone as far as leaving to pick up lunch and coming back with the food to eat in the breakroom instead of just eating at the restaurant.
I hate it. I hate him so much for doing this. It’s so uncomfortable. My skin is constantly crawling. All I want to do is avoid him.
Not him though.
No, of course not. He goes out of his way to try talking to me every day at lunch. Like we’re friends or something. He makes me face the uncomfortableness every day, forcing me to get over it like some kind of exposure therapy.
What bothers me most is that it’s working. Iwantto hate him. I really, really want to hate him.
Luckily, Nicole walks in behind me, so I don’t have to be alone with him today. She chats with Declan about their weekend plans while I stir my leftover spaghetti. I eavesdrop as I put the food back in the microwave.
Nicole snickers about something he says, and when I turn to face them, they are both looking at me.
“What?” I ask defensively.
Nicole smirks at me. “Oh no, not Addy. She’s on a sabbatical from men.”
