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I sigh, trying to get a grip. “Probably.”
John’s probably a good guy. He’d probably be perfect for Thea. Exactly what she needs. I don’t care though. I want her for myself. She needs to be mine.
I grab my phone when the first round is over and pull up Thea’s text thread.
Me:End things with the doctor.
???
Thea
Mack:End things with the doctor.
I stare at my phone, trying to figure out if I’m excited or angry. I spent the last hour at the gym, attempting to release some of these pent up emotions. When I got home from brunch, I didn’t know what I wanted, but the longer the day went with no word from him, the more I realized I wanted to hear from him. Why else would I be bothered by his silence?
This though?
“End things with the doctor,” I repeat in a mocking voice. “Really? Jackass.”
Me:Who the fuck do you think you are?
I try to put him out of my mind since I’ve been obsessing the whole day. He’s confusing the hell out of me, and I know I shouldn’t be basing my decisions on how someone else is feeling. I know that. But fuck, he makes it hard.
I open John’s text thread. We haven’t talked since he dropped me off. That’s the worst part about him. We don’t talk that much. I know that’s probably what a healthy relationship is supposed to be in the beginning. I know when people obsess in the beginning, it usually always fizzles out, but at the same time, why should I always settle for less than I’m willing to give? If I can make time for you every day, then why shouldn’t I expect the same in return? Why should I always be the one who loves more?
Mack:End things now before I have to scare him off myself.
Me:You’re not going to do that.
Mack:Oh no?
Me:No. Because regardless of this whole stupid ridiculous behavior you’ve been displaying lately, I know that deep down you care about me, and you’re not going to do something that would hurt me.
Mack:Still. I think you’re vastly underestimating how much I want you.
I chuck my phone. I chuck it onto the couch like it burned me. I pace back and forth, looking back at my phone and trying to figure out what to do.
“Don’t encourage this behavior, Thea. C’mon.” I look at my phone once more before grabbing it and rereading the text. “Fuck.”
As much as I want to be strong and independent, I’m folding. I’m folding because he’s never actually admitted to that out loud until now. I don’t know how to deal with this.
Me:You don’t even know what you want.
There. I’m leaving the ball back in his court. He can figure out what he wants on his own. I’m not going to sit around stressing about it.
After I get out of the shower, I throw on my favorite short-shorts pajamas with matching crop top. I grab my wine out of the fridge and pour myself a glass while I pull up my food delivery app. After endlessly scrolling all my streaming services, I end up on the same exact movie I watch every time I’m waiting for new seasons of all my shows to be released.
I finally decide on a restaurant when someone starts pounding their fist against my front door. “What the fuck?”
I sprint over to my kitchen and shut the lights off to pretend I’m not home. The sun is still setting, so hopefully they didn’t already see it on. I sneak over to the door, standing on my tiptoes to see through the peephole.
I pull the door open slowly. “Mack…”
He has both hands rested against my doorway, leaning in and running his eyes down my body. “Shut up,” he says, grabbing my jaw, walking me backward, and shoving his tongue into my mouth.
He kisses me like he’s desperate for it. My back slams against the wall as he starts kissing down my jaw to my neck. “I know what I fucking want,” he spits out, digging his fingers into my hips, shoving me further back against the wall.
I’m breathing so heavy that I can’t respond. A high pitched squeak escapes my lips as he bites down on my neck. His mouth connects with mine again as he runs his hands up mysides under my shirt. I gasp against his lips when he pinches my nipples.
