AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘I know, I know,’ Nate says softly. ‘But don’t get your hopes up, Holly. I don’t think there’s much you’ll be able to do at the hospital either. There will be a lot of waiting around. But I understand you wanting to be there.’
‘Actually, there is something I can do. Something really important,’ I say, staring into my cup of coffee. ‘I can read to her.’
‘Good idea,’ Nate says. ‘I think she’d really like that.’
I tear up as my eyes meet Nate’s but I steady myself with a mouthful of slightly too hot coffee. ‘We should call Ben. It would be awful for him to wake up in an empty house with no idea what’s happened.’
‘God, Hols, that brother of yours could sleep through a hurricane,’ Nate jokes, placing his coffee cup on the hall table. ‘Sure, I’ll call him, you grab Annie’s book, and maybe a change of clothes for your mam.’
‘Oh God, yeah,’ I say, realising my mother left still in her nightdress and dressing gown.
‘And if you want to change into something of your own…’ Nate’s eyes shift to the spare room where we slept. ‘I brought you some clean clothes from home. Just jeans and a hoodie. I hope that’s okay, wasn’t sure what you’d need or what you had. I forgot shoes though…’
I kiss Nate on the lips instinctively. An old habit. I quickly break away and blush unsure of what I’ve done or what he might think it means. I don’t even know what I think it means.
Nate doesn’t move. Or talk. But his eyes burn into mine with supernova intensity.
‘Thank you,’ I mumble awkwardly. ‘I’m really glad you’re here, Nate. Really glad.’
I hurry towards the bedroom without looking back. If I look back, I’ll want to run into his arms and kiss the shit out of him. And I can’t. Not now. I can’t handle any more complications right now. My mind might burst. I run my fingers along my lips as if I can find traces of Nate’s taste. I was so consumed with sadness and confusion, I didn’t realise how much I missed something as simple as his touch. I really miss him – like a lost piece of a jigsaw that’s finally been found to make me whole again.
NINETEEN
HOLLY
At the hospital, Ben sees my mother first. He taps me on the shoulder and points at where she sits alone in a long, empty corridor. Her elbows are on her knees and her head hangs low, hiding in her hands. She looks smaller than usual, thinner too.
‘Mam,’ Ben calls out, and I can hear the fear in his voice.
My mother lowers her hands and looks up. Her bloodshot eyes are sunken and poignant and desperately hard to gaze at. She’s broken and sadder than I’ve ever known her to be, but there’s a spark of relief to see us.She knew we’d come.
‘The doctor is in with Nana now,’ she whispers. ‘He’s been in there a while. A nurse too. They asked me to wait out here. But wait for what? What are they going to say? I don’t know what they’re going to say.’
My mother’s words are short and clipped. As if finishing the last syllable of each word would zap more energy than she has in her body.
‘Okay,’ I say, taking a seat next to her. ‘We can wait together.’
I rest my hand on her knee, and she instantly sets her hand on top of mine and gives a little squeeze. She won’t say it because my father expressly told me not to come, but I know she’s glad we’re here. I’m glad we’re here too. Not just for Nana.
‘Can I get you anything. A coffee? Water maybe?’ I whisper.
‘You know what?’ My mother shifts in her seat, probably uncomfortable from sitting in a metal chair for too long. ‘If I drink any more coffee, I’m going to start bouncing off the walls. But your dad went to get some anyway. I think he needed something to do. He’s been gone a while. Maybe he got lost.’
‘Maybe he did,’ I say, struggling to keep the emotional crack out of my voice. ‘Ben? Nate? Would you mind going to look for him? He has a terrible sense of direction, you know. He’ll probably end up on an operating table or something.’ I giggle, trying desperately to lighten the atmosphere.
No one laughs, but Nate offers me an encouraging smile. ‘Sure,’ Nate says. ‘It’ll give you and your mam some time to talk too—.’
I scowl, and Nate cuts himself off. I know he wants me to tell my mother about the baby. But now is the worst possible time.
‘Don’t worry, Blair,’ Nate says, backing away. ‘We’ll find George.’
‘Thank you,’ Mam sniffles.
‘Ben,’ Nate calls. ‘Ben. Hey, Ben.’ Nate struggles to get Ben’s attention.
My brother is slouched with his hands on his hips staring out of the floor-to-ceiling glass into the darkness. He sighs and shakes his head every so often. For the first time, I wonder if I’ve been too hard on Ben when I judged him for not visiting Nana much in recent months. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to watch her fade from being the vibrant head of the family who we loved, into a frail old lady who will leave us soon. I want to jump up and hug my older brother, but I’m afraid that if I move, my mother might topple over.
‘Ben,’ Nate says again, louder this time. ‘Your dad has gone walkabout. Come help me find him, yeah?’
