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‘Found it. Found it,’ Gavin says, returning.
He’s almost out of breath from rushing, so I know he’s aware of how uncomfortable this whole situation is. He opens the stool out and sits next to me. He’s much lower than the rest of us on chairs and Molly begins to laugh. Heather laughs too and finally, I giggle, so grateful for something, anything, to lighten the atmosphere.
I pass Gavin his plate and he tucks back in. I watch everyone eat for a moment and hope that my tummy doesn’t rumble loud enough to be heard.
‘Did Heather tell you the good news?’ Gavin asks, reaching for the wine and topping up Heather’s glass first and then his own.
‘No.’ I arch an eyebrow, relieved it’s good news for a change but unsure if we should discuss Kayla in front of Molly.
‘It’s not that big a deal.’ Heather blushes. ‘And nothing is definite yet.’
‘Don’t be so modest,’ Gavin says, chewing on some steak.
Heather shakes her head and my stomach aches, and not just with hunger, as I watch the banter between my husband and his ex. I slug a large mouthful of wine and wait for them to share the secret. I was expecting Gavin and Heather to share conversations I’m not privy to. They need to talk about Kayla’s treatment and make decisions. I understand that. I just wasn’t prepared for how weird watching them develop this relationship would make me feel.
‘Heather’s only gone and got herself a new job,’ Gavin says.
‘A new job.’ I press the wine glass to my lips again and drink. ‘What about Kayla?’
‘It’s at the hospital,’ Gavin says. ‘Couldn’t be more convenient.’
‘I’m sorry, what?’ I say, lowering the glass before I spill some. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Work have given me as much time off as I need to be with Kayla,’ Heather explains. ‘But, unpaid.’
‘Oh,’ I say, feeling awful that I hadn’t realised.
‘Doctor Patterson said the canteen are looking for someone to bake. Scones, croissants, muffins. That sort of thing.’
I shake my head. ‘But won’t that take up lots of time you need to spend with Kayla?’
‘I suggested Heather could bake some stuff here. Like a practice. And she’s going to bring some muffins in for the kids on the ward too,’ Gavin says.
‘Bake here?’ I say, looking around the kitchen.
‘If that’s okay,’ Heather says.
I don’t reply. I reach for the wine again.
‘I’ll buy all my own ingredients and I won’t get in the way. I can wait until everyone has gone to bed so I don’t take over the kitchen or anything.’
‘Well it sounds like this is all planned out then,’ I say, guzzling the remainder of my glass.
‘I could leave some brownies for Molly for school,’ Heather says.
‘I love brownies,’ Molly says, her mouth full of mushy chips.
‘They’re not allowed treats in school,’ I say, my head feeling light already from the wine.
‘Can I have a brownie now. Please? Please?’ Molly says, stuffing the last nugget into her mouth without biting.
‘There are no brownies, Molly,’ I say.
‘Actually,’ Heather says, ‘there might be a little surprise in the fridge.’
‘Brownies,’ Molly squeaks, and jumps off her chair to run over to the fridge.
‘Only if your mammy says it’s okay,’ Heather says, as Molly flings open the fridge door and it bangs off the wall behind it.
