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“I don’t want to hurt you.” It doesn’t occur to me to deny him.
“Come round to my good side. Here,” he says, wiggling over on the bed to make room for me. I quickly get up and round the bed, kicking off my shoes so that I can climb onto the bed beside him.
“Are we going to get told off for this?” I check.
“Probably,” he replies with a chuckle as he puts his arm around me. “But it’ll be worth it.”
He pulls me close and I rest my head on his chest – just like I used to – listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. There’s a wheeze in his chest though which reminds me how close I came to losing him tonight without even realising it.
“Zie?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you ever…you know?” I pray he knows what I’m talking about because I don’t want to have to say it out loud.
“Never,” his response is vehement.
“Did you know about the others?”
“No. I had no idea. I still don’t. We’ve not spoken all this week.”
I sigh. “I think it’s time we all had an open and honest conversation, don’t you?”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“I feel like…” I trail off, biting my lip.
“Like what?”
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
“Let’s start now with the open and honest thing, Peony.”
“Okay. I always felt like Kaiden was my ally, but now I just feel so hurt and betrayed by him.”
When Zie doesn’t say anything I lift my head from his chest to gauge his reaction.
“What?” he asks.
“You didn’t say anything.”
“Well I’m not going to say something likeI’m sure he had his reasonsor whatever bullshit you were expecting. I’m listening to you. What do you want to say?”
“I want to say that I feel like maybe you were my ally all along, and I was so caught up in hating you for leaving me the way you did that I held on to that and haven’t been able to see the truth since coming back.”
Zie carefully wraps both his arms around me and squeezes me tightly, neither confirming or denying what I’ve said. It’s actually kind of perfect, and I drift off into a dreamless sleep.
Kaiden comes around most days after school now and with the summer fast approaching, Father has arranged for us to go to the Montgomerys’ house to play. They have a pool, which is pretty cool, so I’m looking forward to it. I wonder if I’ll see the girl next door when I’m around there. She intrigues me.
In September when school starts I’ll be nine and in year four. I don’t think it will be very cool to be friends with a boy in year three. Even if he is almost eight. And I definitely can’t be friends with a girl in year two. She’s practically a baby. I bet she still wets the bed.
I might tell Zie that Kaiden and I can only be their friend outside school. I don’t think he’ll mind. He pretty much does as I say anyway, which is cool. It’s nice to be listened to. I don’t get that at home.
I don’t even know what time it is when I wake up, only that I’m not in my bed and that I’m not alone. Panic flares within me but quickly dissipates when I remember that I’m at the hospital with Zie. Blinking my eyes open and adjusting to the low light, I realise that Zie’s arms are wrapped around me and the heat of his body is burning through mine. He’s got me pulled in tight against his chest, and I can feel his erection pressing into my ass.
“Zie,” I whisper. “Zie, are you awake?” He doesn’t reply, but he grinds himself against me, making a rush of heat flood my veins. This is so wrong. We’re in a hospital bed, he’s injured, things aren’t magically fixed between us, I’m not even convinced he’s fully awake…but oh god…this isZie. Loving him has always been my greatest weakness.
“Zie, please,” I breathe out, trying to stop myself from saying anything further, and just as I’m about to extract myself from his arms, he holds me tighter.
