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“No,” he says, voice gravelly with sleep. “Don’t go.”
I try to pull away anyway but he just does the same thing again, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me back into him. It feels so good to be this close to him again.
No. I will not fall into this trap again.
I’m such an idiot. I should never have come here.
“Zie,” I say, trying to force my head to stay up.
“You need to let me up. You need to go back to sleep. You’re in the hospital.”
“I know where I am,” he says, his voice just as low as mine.
“I need to go,” I say, gently trying to push him away with my palms on his chest. His skin is so warm, and so soft, and so…Zie. I feel so guilty for having given into the temptation to be in his arms.
“No,” he says, and his hold on me tightens. “Please. I want you here.”
Oh god, what am I doing?
I sigh and close my eyes. “I can’t, Zie.”
“Why not?” he asks, and his voice takes on a husky tone. “Are you choosing them over me?”
“Never, Zie. I could never choose.”
“So don’t. Just…be with me now. In this moment.”
He makes it sound so easy, but there’s no denying that his words make my heart burst. Zie’s the only person I’ve ever beenunable to say no to. He’s the only person I ever wanted to say yes to, and I can feel my resolve crumbling as I turn around in his arms and then press my body against his.
He’s so warm against me.
God, I’ve missed him.
But I can’t.
“Zie,” I say, trying to force myself to pull away again. “Please, you have to let me go.”
“No,” he says, and this time there’s an edge of desperation to his voice. “I won’t let you go if you won’t let me go.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say, and the next thing I know, Zie has pulled me forward and is pressing his lips against mine. It takes every ounce of self control I have not to fall into the kiss, but god, I’ve forgotten how good this feels. How good it feels to kiss Zie. Every inch of my body feels like it’s on fire right now, and every inch of his body feels like my personal torment, but I still can’t give in. I still can’t let this happen when there’s so much more between us than just this.
“I love you,” he says against my lips.
My resolve finally breaks. I press my body hard against his, pouring every ounce of everything I’m feeling into that kiss. Every ounce of love, every ounce of hate, every ounce of friendship, every ounce of lust, every ounce of pain.
“I love you too,” I whisper against his lips, because all of the hurt between us doesn’t make it any less true, and I’m done denying it. I let my tongue slip into his mouth as I run my fingers through his thick, soft hair.
Zie moans into my mouth, and his body responds to mine. His erection strains against my thigh and his hands slide down the waistband of my leggings just as my hands are slipping inside his hospital gown and running my fingers down his chest. I want to give him everything. I want to give him everything he’s ever wanted, everything I’ve ever wanted with him.
His hand slides inside my leggings, down to the apex of my thighs, and a wave of pleasure rips through my body. The feeling is so intense, so overwhelming, and I almost just come right there with him touching me. But I want more. I want everything, so I reach down and grab his wrist, trying to pull his hand out of my leggings and force him to touch me without the barrier of my underwear.
“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice breathy and soft.
“I want you,” I say, not quite sure why I’m suddenly feeling shy.
But his eyes widen at my words, and suddenly he’s the one pulling his hand out of my leggings.
“No,” he says, looking away from me. “No, we can’t do this here.”
