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“You don’t know that.Miscarriages happen all the time.”
“Maybe, but we would’ve been together. I could’ve held you and loved you.”
Tears sting my eyes as I rise up on tiptoes and kiss him, and I can feel the grief and regret. He kisses me like I’m a life raft, and we’re both drowning. Nothing about us feels fake, it never has. Hudson and I have always been end-game, except our game seems to have been called at halftime.
“Hey, love birds, dinner is ready.”
I wrench my lips away from Hudson and nod at Lincoln. “Be there in a second.” Hudson is breathing hard as I lean my forehead against his. “We need to go inside.”
“I know. Can you give me a minute?”
I nod and kiss his cheek. I have no idea what I might have done to us with my ill-timed confession but I do know it’s well overdue.
16Hudson
Dinner is a blur.Physically, I was present but mentally I was still back in the garden, shuddering under the weight of the bombshell Audrey dropped on my head. I can tell from the way she keeps shooting me distressed looks that she didn’t mean to confess everything like she had. Maybe she planned for me to never find out.
I try and tune into something Harrison is saying but all I really want to do is get out of here and talk to Audrey. I feel her hand on my thigh, and I know, from the tentative touch, that this isn’t an attempt to seduce me. She’s seeking reassurance, and that I can give her. I fold my hand over hers and squeeze gently while shooting her a light smile. Hoping I can convey that it will be okay when I’m not sure I believe that anymore.
It’s not anger at her that simmers beneath my skin, it’s anger at myself. If I’d just told her what was going on in my life, things might have been so different. Instead, we’re two people with a chasm between us.
Thankfully, the evening wraps up quickly. John is exhausted and you don’t need to be a doctor to see how fast he’s fading. I watched my own mother succumb to this awful disease, and knowing what Audrey faces, I’d give my fortune to save her from this pain, but I can’t and it’s killing me.
“You guys going to come to the club with us?”
I turn to Beck as he speaks and catch Audrey shaking her head, before looking at me.
“I’m exhausted. But, Hudson, you can go if you want.”
Cocking my head, I try to read her expression. Is she wanting me to go so she can have some space or is she giving me an out somehow from the conversation that is looming? Either way, it’s not happening. “No, I’m going to take my wife home.”
I pull her close as we stand in the lounge as Heather rushes around to gather coats. Audrey doesn’t fight me but leans into my touch and I let some of the tension inside me go. We can get past this. We just need to talk it through.
This last week has been perfect, everything I ever dreamed of, and while I know she’s skittish still, what we have is special and I think deep down she knows it.
“Fair enough. We’ll see you at Ruin later this week for the party?”
I look at Audrey as I wait for her answer, and she nods. She hasn’t mentioned a party at the club, but we don’t really talk about Club Ruin. I’m in no way a prude. Fuck, there’s nothing more I like than making Audrey beg for my cock, but the thought of her in a sex club with other men makes my skin itch.
“Yes, I’ll be there.”
We say goodnight and head home, the quiet in the car makes it feel like the air is humming around us. Neither of us is willing to end the peace with a discussion that I know in my gut will be painful for us both.
Walking through the door behind Audrey, I can’t help admiring how fucking beautiful she is. Her long neck, elegant and regal, and that body. God, her body is sinful.
“I’m going to head to bed.” Her gaze finds mine as she rolls her lips, uncertainty making her nervous. “Should I wait for you, or are you going to stay up?”
“
Moving to her, I cup her neck and she shivers as her head falls back. “Wait for me.”
“Okay.”
Her answer is soft, but the way she does as I ask, without fighting me, is all the indication I need that talking tonight isn’t what we need. We need to reconnect. That bond we’ve been building needs strengthening before we talk.
Seeing Mrs. Price home, I go around the house locking up and making sure my family is secure. The two most important people in my life live here and it’s my job to protect them.
When I slip into the bedroom, Audrey is sitting on the edge of the bed in a dove grey satin nightgown. The moonlight casts a blue light over her skin and hair, giving her an ethereal glow. Her head lifts as I enter, and it’s impossible to look at her and not want her. I’ve spent the last ten years in purgatory. Wanting her and not being allowed to touch her and now she’s mine. For now at least.
