AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“When you know, you know. Right, John?”
“Absolutely, son.”
Hudson shakes my father’s hand and I wish with all my heart that this was real and not done because my father is sick. That we could be that couple, like my friends, and have a future, but all I have promised is right now.
“Ah, I see Xander. I want to ask him about his new film. Excuse me.”
My dad wanders off, and I bite back the tears as I watch him. Even in the last few weeks, he seems to have shrunk. A sob lodges in my throat and I feel like I can’t breathe.
“Come with me.”
Before I know it, Hudson is pulling me from the room and into the garden. A shiver slides over me, but he pulls me close and holds me against him as I let the night sky soothe me.
“You’re going to be alright, Audrey. Just breathe with me.”
His hands cup my face and I keep my eyes locked on his as we breathe in and out until the stone in my chest melts away.
Then his arms come around me as I lean into him, taking his strength because my own is failing me.“How do I say goodbye to him, Hudson? How do I carry on without the man, who taught me to ride a bike, looking out for me?”
“You do it by remembering all of the small moments. You wake up each day and let the pain wash over you. It will hurt and it will feel like you lost your anchor, but every day the pain will become bearable as the pain turns from a scab into a scar. Then you’ll begin to remember them with a smile.”
I pull away and look at him. “Is that how it is for you?”
He nods. “Yes. I miss her every day and I still go to tell her things, only to remember she isn’t around to listen. But I tell her anyway, and I remember that she’s a part of me, of Tia too, and I honor her by being the best person I can for my sister.”
“That’s beautiful but I don’t have Tia to keep me going. I feel like I’m standing in quicksand just waiting for the inevitable moment when it drags me under and suffocates me.”
“You have your mom, and your cousin, as awful as he is.”
I laugh as a smile crinkles his eyes.
“And you have me. I know I wasn’t there for the last few years and that’s on me, but I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. As long as you need me, I’ll be right by your side.”
“I need to tell you something.” This isn’t the time or the place but I can’t help it. I need to get this out before I change my mind.
“You can tell me anything, Belle.”
“When you left, I didn’t know it, but I was pregnant.”
Hudson seems to freeze, his gaze looking vacant as he takes in my words and then he shakes his head, stepping back with a frown. “What?”
“I was pregnant. I found out a week after you left. It’s why I came looking for you.”
His hands skim his hips, and he looks ashen. “You had my baby?”
I shake my head as I reach for him and, by some miracle, he lets me take his hands. “No.”
He snatches his hands away angrily, and my temper flares.
“You got rid of my baby without even mentioning it to me?”
I fold my arms, my anger a comfortable cloak around me as I give him a haughty look. “If you remember rightly, I thought you were shacked up with your baby momma already.”
Hudson scrubs a hand down his face and turns his back to me and I let my front fall for just a second. This isn’t fair, I can’t torture him with this. “I lost the baby.”
He spins so fast that I step back, but he follows until he has me in his arms.
“This is all my fault. If I’d spoken to you, told you about my mom and Tia, we could be a family right now.” He sounds distraught as he cups my head to his chest.
