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He shoves me in front of him out of the living room, and I let a laugh fall from my lips.
Once inside the kitchen, he backs me up against the island, with his body. “You think you’re funny, don’t you?”
“I mean, I’m not Ellen funny, but I’m pretty funny.”
“Yeah, you’re cute, I’ll give you that.”
He kisses me, nipping my lip before stroking his tongue along mine. I sigh as the tension and worry in my body temporarily abate. Hudson grips my hips with his big hands, stroking his thumbs over my belly.
Pulling away, he looks at me with concern. “Talk to me.”
I shrug, not wanting to say it out loud, but also knowing he’s like a dog with a bone. It’s what makes him so good at his job. “Watching my dad with Tia just got me. He won’t ever have that. He won’t ever get the joy of being a grandparent, of watching Lincoln’s children grow up, and he’d just make the best grandpa ever. It’s so unfair.”
Hudson cups my cheek and tilts my chin so I have to look at him and let him see me laid bare and vulnerable again. His tongue swipes his lip and I just want to lose myself in him. Let him take it all away, but I know I can’t always use him to fix things for me.
“Belle, I’m not going to lie to you and say it will be easy. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things you’ll ever face. But it’s going to happen, and it’s fucking unfair, and cruel, but you’ll get through it.”
“I don’t want to get through it. I just want it all to go away.”
“Oh, Audrey, if I could, I’d take away all your pain, but I can’t. Listen to me. Enjoy the time you have. Maybe consider taking some time off work so you can spend time with him. Say the things you need to say, make the memories that are being stolen while you can.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can. We have so much going on with the new company.”
“Fuck the new company. It will still be there when your father isn’t. Nothing is more important than this. If you need me to speak to Lincoln, I will.”
I stroke my hands over the soft cotton of his black t-shirt. It’s a perfect fit, snug around his biceps and chest and loose around his hips, which means it lifts when he moves his arm up, giving me a glimpse of his gorgeous abs.
“I appreciate the offer, but I can handle Linc. Let me give it some thought over the next few days.”
Hudson drops a quick firm kiss on my lips and frowns. “Now, where’s the fucking ice?”
I laugh as I wrap my arms around his waist and he pulls me close, resting his head on mine, and pressing his lips to my hair.
“It’s going to be alright, Audrey. It won’t feel like it, but it will be.”
The words ‘I love you’ are on the tip of my tongue. I can’t deny them any longer, but giving in to the need to tell him how I feel serves nobody. It’s selfish on my part and Hudson has given up enough. I won’t allow him to give up the chance at a real family because of me and I know in my heart he’d choose me. I just can’t let him.
A loud thunk from the other room, followed bya scream from Tia, has me pulling out of Hudson’s arms and running like my life depends on it. When I make it into the living room entrance, I see my father collapsed on the ground. I rush to him and sink to my knees beside my mom.
Panic grips me so hard I can barely breathe, my brain a scrambled mess over the sight of my father looking pale and frail on the ground, blood coming from a cut on his brow.
“Daddy.”
I turn him to his side as he groans and my mother cries and fusses.
“Mom, what happened?”
“He went to get up and just collapsed.”
I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Hudson with his arm around a terrified Tia. “I called an ambulance. Give me some room and let me check him over. I have my first aid certificate.”
I move back reluctantly and Tia grabs my hand. I haul her close, holding on like she’s my lifeline and my husband checks my father over.
“Looks like he fainted. His pulse is good, and he’s breathing fine.”
Moments later, the first responders arrive and check my father over. He’s awake now and grumbling about everyone fussing. Saying he just stood up too fast and got dizzy. We all know that’s just a symptom of his ever-deteriorating health.
To be safe, the paramedics decide to take him in and get him checked over by his oncologist. Dad agrees but I know it’s only for our sake. He wants us to go home though and, after a slight argument, I agree but only if my mom promises to call me as soon as she has news. Suddenly everything is more real than ever, and time is slipping away like sand through a funnel.
