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“Mom.”
“Oh, I know. It was all pretend in the beginning, but it’s not now, is it?”
My head snaps up to see her watching me. “You knew?”
“We both did. But we also knew the love between you was real. Am I wrong?”
I shake my head. “No, but it’s complicated.”
My mom grips my hands in her freezing cold ones and I cling to her. “No, sweetheart, it’s not. You love each other and, yes, mistakes have been made but nothing that can’t be fixed.”
I know in my heart that the words we exchanged can be overcome and that we could work it out, but it doesn’t change all our issues. “Mom, I can’t have kids.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I found a leaflet on Asherman’s Syndrome in your room.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it was up to you when you told us that. What happened?”
I spill all of it, on the day we laid my father to rest, I unload all my emotional garbage onto my mother and watch her come alive again.
“I’m so sorry, darling. I wish we could have helped you. I feel like we failed you.”
“No, Mom. No. You and Dad are,” I clear my throat as the tense of my dad being alive and in the past clogs my airways, “were the best parents I could have asked for. I just didn’t want to face it. Discussing it was real and I didn’t want to face it.”
“Does Hudson know?”
“He does now.”
She cocks her head as if trying to understand. “And that changed things for him?”
“No, he says he loves me and that it doesn’t matter to him.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“Mom, you’ve seen him with Tia. He was born to be a father. I can’t rob him of that.”
“He’s already a father. She may not be his daughter, but he’s done the job of a father for the last ten years. How are you robbing him?”
I pause trying to figure that out and realize I’m not. “I’m not, I guess.”
“So, who are you to decide what he wants? Would you allow him to do the same thing to you?”
“He did do the same when he ghosted me rather than give me the choice to stand by him and Tia.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“Angry. He had no right to make decisions for me.”
My mom raises one brow and all of a sudden it all makes sense. I’m doing exactly what he did to me, and I hated it.“What if he changes his mind down the road, Mom? He was so angry when Tia got hurt and we said some awful things to each other.”
“Sweetheart, when you were five, your father lost you in the supermarket. I was so furious I threatened to divorce him if he ever took his eyes off you again.”
“Really?”
