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She gets this soft smile on her lips. “Absolutely. And when you were seven, you fell out of that tree and broke your arm, and your father told me he was hiring twenty-four-hour security to watch you because I couldn’t.”
“Wow, I was a handful.”
“You were but my point is, parenting is the most terrifying thing you’ll ever do and Hudson has been alone for ten years. Letting someone in and sitting back a little will be hard for him. You’ll have countless fights over things like that and say things you don’t mean and will regret but love will always be the glue. You just have to communicate.”
“Thank you, Mom. That makes sense.”
“Well, your father and I didn’t raise a fool.”
I hug her tight, inhaling the familiar comforting scent of Chanel No 5 and then we head out to give my father the sendoff he deserves. I drive with my mom and Aunt Heather but I know Hudson is close behind us and it gives me strength. I feel his eyes on me as I get out of the car and hold onto my mother’s hand.
He nods and gives me a look so full of longing that I can’t keep the walls up any longer. I hold out my hand and he steps up and slides his palm across mine and everything feels less daunting.
“I’ve got you.”
The service is beautiful and I cry my way through my eulogy until Hudson steps up and takes over delivering it with a deep resonance that makes me cry harder. He stands behind me at the graveside, one arm around me, the other around my mother, holding us steadfast, and taking the weight of our grief as his own.
All day he acts as a buffer without my asking and demands nothing in return. He makes sure we eat, that we drink, and that when things get too rough, we have a moment to ourselves. Eventually, when the last person has left the house and only my Aunt Heather is left, we get a minute to ourselves.
“Thank you for today.”
He cups my cheek and I feel my body unfurl with the hint of desire. “I told you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know but thank you anyway.”
“You’re welcome.”
“How is Tia?”
“Good, but she misses you.”
“I miss her, too.” I don’t know how to do this.
“I should go.” Hudson turns to the door.
“Wait.”
He turns to me with hope in his eyes and I realize how short life is. He could be taken from me tomorrow and I’d be left with nothing but regrets for what we lost. I won’t dishonor my father’s memory by living like that. “I want to come home.”
“You want a lift to your apartment?”
I can see the hope warring with his need not to jump to conclusions. I step forward and lace my hands on his chest and feel him so warm and vibrant beneath my fingertips. His heart beating with life. “No, I want to come home to you and Tia.”
Hudson’s eyes close and he stifles a grin. When his eyes open, they’re full of love for me. “Really?”
“Yes. Take me home, husband.”
28Hudson
I callMrs. Price on our way home and ask her if she would have Tia overnight. It might be selfish, but I need this time with Audrey on our own. She’s had an awful, emotionally draining day and I just want to hold her in my arms and reassure myself this is real, without the worry of whether my sister is okay.
Walking into the house behind my wife, I watch her stop in the kitchen and just take a moment to look around her. Sliding my arm around her waist, I pull her back against me and she leans into giving me her weight.
“You doing okay?”
“Yes. I just missed this place. My apartment stopped being my home when I moved in here.” Her hand strokes my arm before she turns into my chest. “I guess I thought I’d never see it again, so I’m taking a second to drink it all in.”
My fingers thread through her dark hair and she tips her head to look at me. She looks tired but beautiful, alive and in my arms, and I know there won’t ever be a time I won’t be grateful for that. “Life is short. I learned that when I lost my mom.”
