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I laugh. Well, I was right about which team he played for.
“I’m not asking if you think I’m hide-the-sausage material. I’m just asking for a man’s point of view. Do I come off as inexperienced as I am?”
“You come off as kind, Noah. That’s all that matters to me.”
“Thanks, Benson.” My tone doesn’t reflect gratitude.
Kind? Meh.
Kind isn’t exactly the same as sexy in a man’s eyes.
“Is this about Brazen? Is it him you’re worried about?” Madison jumps in.
“I don’t even know. I’ve never even seen a real relationship. I don’t know what I feel, but there is something between us. I’m certain he feels it, too, but he’s been so hot and cold. There is a lot I don’t know, and maybe that’s a turn-off for him.”
My eyes follow Benson’s movements as he gets up and peers out the living room window.
“Maybe it’s because he’s your boss, and he wants to keep it professional? Stuff like hitting on your employee is discouraged.”
Madison sounds like she knows more than what she’s telling me. That’s okay.
“Maybe.” I sink back against the cushions on the couch and try to rationalize Brazen and how I feel when he’s close to me.
“Our neighbor is up to something. I know it,” Benson interrupts again with something completely outside of the topic. He closes the blinds and returns to the couch and our conversation. “I have a lot of questions,” he says to me.
“About the neighbor?”
“No, about you.”
“So, ask. I’m an open book.” Some things I might be embarrassed to admit, but I’ve never been one to hide anything about myself.
“Are you a virgin?” he whispers the last word like he’s referencing one of his conspiracy theories.
That word carries a shameful stigma, and it’s crap.
“No, but I’d hardly say I’m experienced.”
“What does hardly experienced mean?” Madison adds in.
“I’ve only been with one person, and he’d only been with me. Basically, two kids rubbing against each other and hoping we’d stumble onto something that worked.”
“High school sweetheart?” he suggests.
“More like orphanage friend with benefit.” I shake my head and let out a small chuckle.
“Um. Explain. Please?” Benson gives me a look, telling me he needs more.
“Which part? The orphanage or the lone sexual partner?”
“Both, but let’s start with your Little Orphan Annie past.”
I lean back, preparing to dive in deep.
“I grew up at a place called Golden Heights. My mother gave up her parental rights of me when I was six, and I spent the rest of my childhood there, right up until the day I left to come here. The backstory is long, and honestly, I’m not entirely sure of it myself. The way I grew up was very sheltered, but in a way, it still exposed me to a lot.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we ate there, we slept there, and we played there. Except for school, we hardly ever left the grounds, which was isolating. Yet, when you grow up without parents, you see things children probably shouldn’t.”
