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“I would never hurt anyone,” he defends, admittedly rather brashly.
“I know you wouldn’t, Benson.”
He sets down his fork and looks at me like I have all the answers. Maybe I can help with a few.
“Where is this coming from?”
“Are you happy, Noah?” He folds his hands neatly in his lap.
Benson has a habit of seemingly ignoring my questions, but I think he’s working his way up to getting to them.
“I always try to be. At least in the moment, but for the first time, I think I am overall. Are you?” The question makes me nervous, but I really want my friend to be happy.
“Did you know I’m on probation? Did Madison tell you?” he answers my question with a few of his own.
“No. Do you want to tell me?” I can’t say I’m not curious about his admission.
“I got arrested about six months before you moved in. I think the judge showed me leniency because he knew I couldn’t handle jail.”
“What did you do?”
I didn’t expect that Benson had problems with the law, but I keep my tone free from judgment. He deserves my understanding since he didn’t judge me when I first got here. Sure, he thought I was a spy, but once we cleared that up, he was free of judgment.
“I had a rather bad episode. Sometimes, these thoughts get in my head, and I just can’t escape them.” He literally shakes his head, like the thoughts will fly out.
“Bad episode?”
“I thought someone was following me. They had trailed behind my car for miles and taken every turn that I did. I pulled off into a gas station and bunkered down inside after locking the door. There were other customers inside though, and I guess one of the women was really scared.”
“Oh no, Benson.”
“The lady called the police, and she told them I had a gun. Noah, I swear I didn’t, but she was just so frightened and thought I was robbing the store or something. The cops showed up, thinking they had a hostage crisis. It was all a big misunderstanding, I promise.”
“I believe you.” I can even see it unfolding in my mind.
“Things mostly got cleared up, but I still got stuck with a small charge. In a way, I’m kind of glad it happened because I think the experience and the consequence have been good for me.”
“Well, that’s good, Benny.”
“You asked me if I was happy though. I explained that because I just wanted you to understand more. It’s hard for me to know if I’m happy. My mind moves so fast, and certain things are on a continuous loop that it makes it hard for me to actively process my emotions. My brain is on overdrive so much that the only thing I can concentrate on are the intense messages.”
“That makes sense.”
The boy always looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“I want you to be happy though.”
“Before my probation is over, I’ve been ordered to complete some therapy. I’ve been emailing with a therapist who specializes in people with obsessive tendencies in hopes that I can find someone who will truly understand my issues.”
Counselors came in and out of Golden Heights. I’ve seen a lot of them in my lifetime. Frankly, I hope I never have to see one again, but I can freely admit that the right doctor can make a world of difference in someone’s life. If Benson finds the right person for him, it could be helpful for whatever he wants to improve.
“I think that’s a great idea!”
“You do?”
“I really do.”
“Good. Then, it’s settled.”
My morning has been a lot more eventful since my head left the pillow than I anticipated. Matt is using our home to continue to get at Sunday, and Benson has a mug shot out there somewhere. I’m quickly growing tired of a man I’ve never met, but as for Benson, I’m grateful every time he shares with me. I know it’s hard for him to trust people, and his open heart means he’s comfortable in our friendship. Things like that are what I was missing in my life before I came to Bay Town.
Now, I’d like to continue my day with a hot shower and a daily dose of Brazen.
He’s the best part about my new life here.
