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But that begged one very obvious question—what in the fuck was he going to do next?
CHAPTER9
Nell
Nell fiddled with the hem of her dress as she stared at Rafe’s phone, her eyes glazed over. Which meant she nearly jumped out of her skin when it finally rang in her hand.
Heart pounding against her ribs, she stared down at the little screen. “It says ‘unknown number.’ Do you think that’s her, or spam?”
Rafe, who had moved to the sofa and planted her on his lap half an hour ago, squeezed her thigh. “Only one way to find out.”
Her finger hovered over the green button, but she couldn’t make herself actually press down. Fucking hell, she couldn’t even breathe. What if it was Holly, and she never called again? It wasn’t like Nell could call her back without the number.Press the fucking button!
Coming to her rescue, Rafe gently pushed her thumb down, sliding it across the screen to answer the call. He hit the speakerphone button a moment later. But he wouldn’t speak for her. He told her that as soon as he gave her his phone.
If only he would. Nell’s voice was stuck somewhere in her throat, and she wasn’t sure it would ever break loose.
After several terrifying seconds, a strong, confident voice blared from the phone’s speakers. “Hello? Noelle?” Three more beats of silence, in which Nell started to accept she’d likely be mute for the rest of her life. “If this is someone playing a trick on me, I hope you know you’re going to burn in the deepest ring of hell for all eternity. And if this is Micah O’Neill, I swear to God and fucking Jesus that I will castrate you before the day I die, and you will be fully conscious and aware while I do it. You can fucking count on it.”
A laugh bubbled up out of Nell as tears burned in her eyes. Fucking hell, Holly hadn’t changed one tiny bit, and it was the most wonderful goddamn thing in the world. She could even feel Rafe shaking with silent laughter behind her.
“Holy shit, Noelle!” The relief in Holly’s voice tore through her, lodging itself in the deepest chambers of her heart. Christ, she’d never be able to forgive herself for what she put everyone through. “Is it really you? Please say it’s really you, cause I can’t take much more of this.”
“It’s really me.”
Nell could barely even hear her own voice, but it was enough. Holly promptly burst into very loud and very Holly-ish tears. Her older sister had never done anything halfway.
“Please tell me this is real.” It was hard to make out her words through all the gasping and crying and hiccupping. “Tell me he’s not standing behind you making you do this.”
By this point, Nell was practically sobbing too, and it took her several seconds to compose herself enough to answer. Taking the phone off speaker, she moved it up to her ear. “I really did leave him. I promise. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in over a year, like I said.” It was technically true. She read his email, but she hadn’t responded.
“Thank fucking God.” Holly’s voice grew more distant as she spoke, and then came the muffled sound of a nose blowing. When next she spoke, her voice came through loud and clear. “Okay, I need to know everything. Where are you? What have you been doing for the last year? When can I see you? Are you coming home?”
Head spinning from the rapid-fire questions, Nell took a deep breath and answered as best she could. “I’ve been living in Tampa since I left. I got a job bartending at a club. I have a nice apartment, and I’ve been slowly putting my life back together.” She paused, not sure how to answer any of the rest. “I—I don’t know about coming home. That depends.”
“On?”
Swallowing down the fear rising up in her throat, she whispered, “On whether anyone other than you ever wants to see me again.”
Holly made a sound so sad, so pitying, it made Nell want to cry again. “Oh, honey.Everyonewill want to see you.”
“Even Mom and Dad?” They hadn’t wanted to see her ever since they found out about the nature of her relationship with Micah. Neither even bothered to attend the intervention, though Holly begged them to come.
It was several telling seconds before her sister finally answered. “I’ll convince them. Give me a little time.”
Since Nell wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to face her parents anytime soon, that was an easy thing to give. Nothing in the world filled her with more shame than knowing what she put them through. Knowing thatthey knewshe willingly handed over all her personal power to a monster, becoming his slave of her own free will. No matter what Holly said, she didn’t think they’d ever truly understand.
“I just saw Cady and Ben a couple weeks ago, though. I know for a fucking fact theywant to see you.”
Nell’s mouth dropped open. “Wait, you did? Why?”
“Cady moved back to the Seattle area after grad school, and Ben came back after he and his wife had their second kid a few years ago. They wanted to be closer to his parents. We try to get together once a month. It helps. Almost like our own little support group.”
Feeling like she’d been hit upside the head with a two by four, Nell took a moment to process that. Ben was married? He was afather? All at once, the postscript from Holly’s email struck her anew, and she blurted out, “Shit, you’re married now, too. And a mom! I want to know everything.”
Nell spent the next hour listening to Holly tell her everything she missed in the last near-decade. Joy and sorrow flooded through her in equal measure, to know the people she loved were living such beautiful, happy lives—and to know she missed every single bit of it. If Rafe hadn’t been a solid, constant presence through the whole thing, his arms wrapped tight around her middle, she wouldn’t have made it through all the revelations without breaking down.
It had always been a given that Nell and Holly would be the maids of honor in each other’s weddings. But Nell not only missed her sister’s big day—she’d never even met the groom. It was somehow worse to know she’d been an aunt for three and a half years without meeting her nephew once.
