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Lauren’s perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised.
I held up my arms like someone under arrest. “Not like you guys. You’re my best, best friends. For fucking ever.”
“Damn straight!” Audrey wagged her finger in my face.
“You bet your sweet ass,” Lauren resounded. “And don’t you forget it!”
“I won’t. Promise.” I crossed my heart, just like we all had done since we were kids. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.” They nodded, thankful I had someone in San Francisco to help me when I needed it most. Especially when I was so far away from my home and my family.
“But . . .” I cringed. I had stalled, trying to put off this last part for as long as I could. “That’s still not even the worst part.” I opened one eye to look at them, afraid.
“What’d you do?” Lauren asked, accusation in her voice. She knew me too well. She knew if there was an “even worse part,” it most definitely had to have come from my own doing. Her bug-eyed stare was starting to scare me.
I didn’t know how to admit my stupidity to my best friends. “Before I found out . . . before I knew . . . I gave him . . .”
“Gonorrhea,” Audrey answered for me, a grin splitting her face.
“No!” I scorned.
“Damn! The bastard would at least deserve it!” She hiccupped at her own joke.
“Jesus, Aud!” Lauren elbowed her.
“What? He does!” She rolled her eyes. “That or crabs. I’m surprised he didn’t give anything to you. Fuckin’ sleaze!”
“He didn’t give me anything. Thank god! But . . . I gave him . . .” Their eyes were like steel knives cutting into me. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. “Thirtythousanddollars,” I said in one quick breath, no break between the words.
Blank stares.
No words emanated from their lips.
We all sat staring at one another, not saying a word.
“Fuck,” Audrey whispered. She was the first one to speak.
Jenny and Lauren remained dumbfounded and silent.
“Yep.” I held up my glass again. “Cheers to me and my fucking stupidity.”
“Well, shit . . .” Lauren began, “I don’t know . . .” She stood up and paced. “You have to get it back!” she yelled at me. She was thoroughly pissed off and ready to fight.
“I know.” My voice was barely a whisper.
“Why’d you give him that much money?” Jenny asked, touching my arm. I could see the concern in her eyes—motherly love exuding from her.
“Because. Well . . . because we were planning on opening a restaurant together.”
A moment’s silence passed between us as we exchanged looks. I knew they weren’t judging me but rather trying to help me figure out a solution. I could tell they were treading lightly not to make me feel like a fool or let me fall apart.
“So, he still has it?” Jenny asked. “Right?”
“Yeah. As far as I know.”
“Jesus. Fuck. Jesus.” Lauren paced back and forth, thinking.
This was the biggest challenge to my situation. While it totally blew balls to lose the guy I thought I was going to marry, especially to another woman carrying his child, what was even worse for me was that I had handed over thirty thousand dollars without even blinking. I hadn’t even given it a second thought.
I had followed my goddamned heart. And look what it got me. Not only had I lost the guy, the job, and my dignity, but I had lost almost every penny I had saved.
