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“What do you mean the baby’s not yours? She lied?”
“Kind of.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Well, she is pregnant. But it’s not mine.”
“Uh-huh.” Everything was happening in slow motion. Like my body was floating above us watching all of this unfold.
“She said I was the father. But the more I thought about it after you left . . .” He looked down at his lap, then back up to me. “I just couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t add up.”
“What didn’t?”
“The timing. It just didn’t make sense.”
“And why not?” I sneered.
“I don’t want to get into all that right now. But, eventually, I figured things out and confronted her about it.”
“You confronted her? Jesus, you’re a jackass sometimes, you know that?”
“Clearly. I royally fucked things up with you. Jackass”—he pointed back toward himself—“in the flesh.”
I laughed in spite of myself.
“God, it’s good to see you smile, to hear you laugh.” I could tell he was trying. But what good was that in this moment? It couldn’t erase everything bad between us. “Anyway,” he continued. “When I brought it up to her and asked for an explanation, shit kind of just hit the fan.”
“I can only imagine.”
“Turns out she knew she was pregnant with some other dude’s baby. But when she told him, he freaked out and ghosted her. And that’s when she came to me, hoping that I’d help her out.”
“Help her out? She ruined our relationship. No. Correction.Youruined our relationship. But she lied her way into trying to get a baby daddy. Who does that?”
“Someone desperate.”
“Ya think?”
“So, she came clean. I blew up and fired her and told her to go to hell. But she cried, and I didn’t know what to do. But I was pissed.”
“So, what’d you do?”
“I told her that I wasn’t going to be strung along into this charade and that she definitely needed to figure out what the hell she was going to do about the real father.”
“I see.” Did I though? This all sounded like an awful soap opera. What the fuck was I caught in the middle of?
“When I finally calmed her down, I got her to see that she needed to think about things and stop lying because she was ruining other people’s lives.”
“You told her that?”
“Absolutely. I told her she couldn’t play games like this and needed to act like a grownup.”
“Then what happened?” I couldn’t believe I wanted to know what happened after that.
“Well, she apologized, said thank you, and left.”
“Huh.” I sat back into my chair. “That’s a doozy. Bitch is cuckoo.” I twirled my finger in the air.
“Pretty much. But shit—” He dropped his head into his hands on the table. I could hear him sniffling, and somewhere, way down deep, my heart broke a little for him.
