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“Hey.” I reached out, touching his arm.
He looked at me, his tear-soaked eyes blinking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to break down like this. But you just don’t know what I’ve been going through.”
“You? What aboutme?”
“No. I know. Everything is just so fucked up right now. You just don’t know how much you mean to me.”
“You’re right. I don’t.”
“Siena, I’m so . . . so fucking unbelievably sorry.”
“I know.”
“Siena?”
“Tim, I just don’t know what to say right now.”
He looked at me from across the table. “It’s a lot to process. I understand. I do. But I want you back. I’m not afraid to say it. And I will do anything”—he grabbed my hand—“anything to make it up to you.”
I shook free of his hold. “Tim, she may not be pregnant with your baby, but you still fucked her. The reason youthoughtit was your baby was thatyou fucked her while we were together.I seriously can’t do this now.”
“We had something. We were planning on building a life together. A home. A restaurant. I know you’re mad and hurt, but I can see your hesitation. There’s something there, Siena. I know there’s still something there.”
“It’s more than that, Tim. So much more.” My mind shot back to Michael.
“Siena? Look at me.” I looked back into his eyes. “All I care about is you. About us. You and me.” His smile was genuine and full of hope. I remembered that same smile after we’d made love.Damn it!
I stood up, almost knocking the table over. “I have to go. I can’t do this right now.”
“Will you promise me that you’ll think about things? Really think?”
“Sure.”
“Promise.” He sounded a bit desperate. I remembered the kiss with Michael against the car. When we made our deal. Damn this whole fucking mess to hell.
“I will think about things,” I promised futilely, feeling like an idiot because I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do. There was so much going on in my mind, too many factors. My future. My life. My hopes and dreams. Tim. Michael.Shit. Shit. Shit.
He stood up then, came around the table, and pulled me to his chest. For a moment, everything felt like it used to. “Here,” he said, smiling softly, handing me the envelope. “As promised.”
I took the money and tapped it against my palm. “Thanks.” I started to lift my hand to his face then stopped myself as he went to lean into it.
He opened his eyes, realizing I’d pulled my hand away. “Call me later?” he asked tentatively.
“Sure,” I said, stuffing the envelope into my bag. I walked to the front entrance and turned around a last time before exiting. He was still standing, watching me with his hand on his heart.
For Christ’s sake, what was I going to do? I had not intended to come here and haveanyof my old feelings for Tim rise to the surface.
On the one hand, I had Tim professing his love and commitment to me—something I had longed for and wanted the whole time we were together. On the other, I had Michael, with whom I had an insane connection, both physically and, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, even emotionally. Sure, we disagreed about one major thing between us, but I realized now, deep down, that he was loyal and trustworthy.
Why couldn’t things just be easy for once?
Siena
Iwalked around the cityfor the next hour. I took in the sounds and smells, letting them soak into my soul, making me feel like I belonged. Unfortunately,my citywasn’t enough to shake the turmoil I felt over what happened with Tim. How I felt about Michael.
Sitting down on a bench in my favorite park, I texted the girls and told them I needed a conference call. He had asked me to, but I didn’t call Michael yet because I didn’t know what I was going to do, and hearing his voice would only complicate things.
Jenny already had Audrey and Lauren on the line. “Let the conference call commence,” Lauren said.
