Page 9 of Surrender


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“I have given much thought to this bargain of ours, Grace,” he says, and I appreciate that he drops the ‘my’. “As we have walked, I have been doing a lot of thinking about you, and how you might like to be shown pleasures.”

“That must have been distracting.”

He grins at my attempt at a joke. “I got us to this place without mishap. That was my only requirement for today. That left much space in my awareness for other things.”

His eyes rake over my body as he says it, heat creeping into his tone. Simon never looked at me like that, and I’m not sure how to feel about it. It telegraphs Calran’s desire clearly,the potency of it, and while it’s nice that he looks at me and sees something desirable, it only makes me more skittish, more uncomfortable.

“I wish to ask you some more questions. Questions that may be uncomfortable, and for that I am sorry, but I think they are important.”

“Okay, ask me whatever you need.”

I should always be willing to give him honesty, I think, no matter how uncomfortable it gets.

“This Simon, he wished to seed a child in you, yes? I imagine he was not much concerned with other ways of mating. Ways that are not required for the seeding of a child?”

I swallow down my discomfort. “I’m… not really familiar with different ways of mating.”

“He put his cock inside you, spilled his seed?” Calran looks deeply uncomfortable to say it, as if the thought of what Simon did to me cuts at him as much as it does at me. “For raskarrans, seeding can only occur when the mating node is active, but I understand it is different for humans? You do not have mating nodes. Is seeding something a human can do any time?”

“Yes. And yes, that’s what he would do. Most nights.”

A flash of his body, hot and sweaty over mine, fills my mind. The grunting sounds he used to make. The mercy of it was it never lasted very long, but any length of time was too much, really.

“So he would never touch you? Never taste you? Mating is not only done with a cock, Grace. There are many different ways that I would like to please you.”

Something flickers low in my belly, the barest spark of heat. Hardly an inferno, but given that I’ve never felt even that much desire before, I take it to be a promising sign.

“He didn’t touch me, no.” Definitely didn’t taste. He wouldn’t even kiss me.

Calran nods, as though this satisfies him.

“Then perhaps that is where we should start,” he says, a smile spreading slowly across his lips.

CHAPTER FOUR

Calran

“S-start?” my Grace stammers. “Now?”

I shake my head. We are lying next to each other and she is stiff as a good climbing branch. She would not yield to my touch as tight as she is holding herself just for being near me.

“I mean when you are ready,” I say. “Right now, I am content to lie beside you. I told you I would not touch you without asking, so you do not need to fear that I will be overcome by need and grab you.”

I give her a quick grin so that she can be sure I am only teasing. Amusement shapes her full lips, and I am again reminded of kisses.

“Did that male give you kisses?” I ask.

Grace shakes her head. “I don’t think he much liked to touch me. I was lesser than him, lower. I wasn’t… worthy of him. He did what he considered necessary, nothing more.”

I hate that she has been treated so badly, but in its way, this gives me an approach to take. If he has only thought of seeding young in her, then we will think of everything else. I will touch and taste and stroke and lick until she is begging me to fill her. I am sure I can make her beg if she gives me a chance to try, and she has been so very brave so far. I grow more confident that a chance will come, if only I continue to be careful, slow in my approach. Always considerate of her fears.

And when she surrenders to me, it will be the sweetest thing I could ever know.

“Before we consider touches, I think it is important that you get accustomed to my nearness. My closeness makes you tense, I know. I would have my closeness give you comfort, make you feel safe.”

I do not expect her to respond to this. We are already in a position to do it, after all, me lying so close to her on this bed. When beds must be a difficult thing for her to consider sharing. It is enough for me that she has accepted this much, but my Grace surprises me again with her bravery.

“Perhaps you could put your arm around me?” she says, her voice shy.

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