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Micah rubbed a hand over his face. “Jasmine.”
A frown dented my forehead at the one-eighty. Not what I had expected. If he’d done anything to fuck shit up with my sister-in-law…
“What about her?”
“This pregnancy.” He pursed his lips and shook his head. “It wasn’t planned. I…I’m not sure I’m ready to be a dad, but Jasmine is so damn excited.” He swallowed down the rest of his vodka.
My older brother had never been anything but confident. Sure of himself even when facing difficulties.
For the first time, I saw him as frail a human as me, and the fact he had fears and insecurities too set me back. Literally.
I sank into my chair and stared at the man I’d have bet my life’s savings on had his shit together in every single fucking way imaginable.
Micah lifted weary eyes to me and huffed a laugh that held no hint of amusement. “I’ve never felt so incompetent in my life. Imagine what Pop would say if I said I’m scared out of my goddamned mind? Think of the bullshit he would spew if I told him what I really thought about becoming a father.”
“If it was me in your shoes, he’d do exactly that,” I said, “but this is you, Micah. You’re the Fox son who can do no wrong. He’d probably sit you down for a nice heart-to-heart, encourage you, and remind you how strong and able you are. He’ll give you a gold fucking star or trophy naming you father of the year before your kid is even born.”
Micah’s gaze roamed my face, and I shifted beneath his perusal. “You know, I’ve always been jealous of your easygoing, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants nature.”
I blinked. “Huh?”
“You’ve been free to be yourself—never had to live up to Pop’s expectations.”
“Seriously?” A snorted laugh jerked my entire upper body. “I hate to break it to you, big bro, but I tried, I’m still trying, every fucking day to make Pop see me as something other than a waste of his sperm.”
Micah frowned. “But you have such a fuck-all attitude that he can’t wear down.”
“That’s the wall I’ve been hiding behind since I came off the soccer field in fourth grade, and Pop told me I should be a ballet dancer since I would never be the ball player you were. He then went back on his suggestion by reminding me I had two left feet and would probably fail at dance too.”
My brother’s eyes widened. “Fucking hell. He said that to you?”
“In front of the entire team.”
“Shit.” He rubbed a hand over his mouth. “That’s why you never played another sport, isn’t it?”
I nodded even though Micah sounded certain of his assumption.
“This whole time, I’ve been striving to be the perfect son, and you’ve been doing the same?” he asked.
“Guess so,” I agreed, “but where you accomplished your goals, I’ve been one massive failure after another. You hear about a job well done while I get ignored. You earn his smiles with your accomplishments when a frown uglies his mug whenever he looks at me.”
Micah toyed with the empty glass in his hands but didn’t take his focus off my face. “That’s why you’re going for an MBA again, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck that, Sean.” Micah scoffed and set his glass aside, stretching his arms across the back of the couch, owning the space with his usual take-charge presence. “Don’t fucking do shit for that bastard. Live how you want. I might manage to get the old man to smile sometimes, but I’ve never been able to make others laugh like you do. Yeah, I’m jealous about that part of your personality too even though I give you shit for it. Your blunt honesty is damn refreshing. Wish I didn’t naturally hold back so damn much.”
I blinked.
“It takes all kinds of people, Sean, and while you’re a pain in my ass sometimes, I wouldn’t change shit about you. I fucking love you, man.”
I chuckled, hating that my throat went tight, cutting my amusement off.
Micah had been my only cheerleader in life since Mom tended to bow beneath Pop’s lordship over the Fox household we’d grown up in. My older brother had been my role model. Along with Grandpop, he was the one who built me up when Pop wasn’t around. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized I’d had the support I needed all along.
I’d been blinded by bitterness and had missed out.
But no more.
