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“You are?”
He nodded and drew me closer. “Is my decision the right one? Am I spending too much money on land and a home when I already have a house? Will my in-laws cut themselves out of the kids’ lives and blame me?” He tipped my face up, his calloused fingers a welcome sensation under my chin. “Mostly, I’m scared I fell in love with you too quickly, that everything I’ve done to impress girls in my life was really because you were in my future, and that I’ll always be unhappy because you’re not with me.”
He was just as scared as me? The huge ball of anxiety in my gut unraveled. He didn’t have anything to lose—materialistically. Like me, he was afraid for his heart, yet he hadn’t shied away from telling me. “You think you’re in love with me?”
“I also feel like a dick for saying I’ve never felt like this before, but there you have it. I’m in a different place in my life, and what you make me feel is like nothing before.”
My heart was a dancer in the middle of the stage, collapsed in on herself. Then she slowly rose until her body was long and her arms were stretched to the sky. Toes pointed, ready to move in any direction needed. After being closed up so long, the unfurling felt good, felt right. Like I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Cody had so much to lose. He was leaving behind one life to start another with me, and there were no promises.
But we’d be together. “Can we be scared with each other? Can we date while I figure out how to open a dance academy and teach pole dancing lessons for Sutton and Vienne?”
His smile was like seeing my heart unfold. Slow at first and then stretching wide. “Let’s be scared with each other—and naked.”
A giggle left me. I was light and free and so damn happy I could float up to the new roof. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “That’s my Stern Daddy.”
“I’m not as stern these days. My nanny made sure of it.” He dropped his head. “And I like having a whole lot more than milk on my tongue. I’m also interested in hearing more about your pole dancing.”
With that, he plundered my mouth. I tipped my head back to welcome him in, and the relief that what was between us wasn’t over was stark and warm and glorious.
Cody spun me, setting my ass on the edge of the stage. I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist.
“You know how much I love this skirt?” he growled.
I had bought it for the length, but I kept wearing it for the hungry look in his eyes. “I like it because I don’t have to wear underwear with it,” I murmured against his lips.
He jerked his head back and searched my face for the truth. I lifted a brow.
“Fuck,” he groaned. He captured my mouth again for another long, lingering kiss. “I’d take you right now if it didn’t seem wrong to fuck in someone else’s building.”
I planted a kiss on his jaw. “I think Sima paid for the day, so it feels extra wrong to get naughty on her dime.”
“The next time I have you, kitten, it’s going to be when we don’t have to hide what we’re doing.” He was rubbing circles on my ass with his thumbs, and like the first time he’d done it in the barn, I didn’t think he realized what he was doing. He was an expressive, passionate man.
“I like the sound of that.” I cupped his face. “I fell in love with you really fast and hard, too.”
“Good.” He didn’t bother hiding the smugness in his expression. His dark eyes turned serious. “I hope you’re sure. Because I want you there when we tell the kids about us.”
“I’ll be there.” I wasn’t running anywhere anymore.
Twenty
Tova
The rush backstage was heady and addicting. The kids’ energy was riding so high, I had to prepare for a possible crash. I used a calm, proficient tone when talking to them, ensuring they had no glimpse into the turmoil inside of me.
I faced a small throng of nervous kids. Ivy hung on to my hand. She’d been clingier since Cody and I told them about us. We’d had a long talk with them when Curtis and Lauri went golfing for an afternoon. Grayson had given me a lingering hug, told me he was glad I wasn’t leaving, and then he’d been all about the performance.
Ivy had asked if I would live with them. No. Not yet. As much as I wanted to get off Thelma’s couch, I wasn’t ready—and neither were they—for me sleeping in Cody’s bed all night. Physically, I was so on board. But Cody and I weren’t just Cody and me. We had the kids to think about, and a slower transition would be better for them.
So the two of us were officially dating. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Next week, I had a meeting with the theater owners to discuss renting the space for lessons.
I was doing the Frederickton on “Cloud Nine.”
“Eyes on me, dancers.” I pointed to my face. I wore my performance costume underneath the long skirt Cody liked. My ensemble was a cheap black bodysuit that covered everything to keep the focus on the art and not my anatomy. My gauzy shirt was pink and purple and orange. I bought it as soon as I saw it. The colors reminded me of the sunset the night Cody asked me to stay.
I had another skirt to change into before it was my turn. A ribbon skirt that would shift and twirl around my legs. My contemporary dance routine was a simple freestyle. I’d flow to the music. Nothing but freedom. Like what I felt.
