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Grayson shushed Kali as she chattered with Bridger. Britta was fanning herself, as nervous as if we were performing in Carnegie Hall. Ivy was shifting from side to side, watching her princess skirt move with her. Catherine, who’d turned into a mother hen during our week of afternoon rehearsals, finished the job of flagging down their attention.
Once they all quieted and were looking at me, I smiled, a nice, serene expression that didn’t belie the turmoil inside me. “Okay. Five minutes, and then I’ll go out and introduce us. When I turn to the side and gesture to the wing you’re waiting in, Catherine’s mom will start the music. As soon as you hear the first note, you walk out in a line following Grayson.”
A series of nods topped the shifting, nervous bodies. I knew how they felt.
A hot hand landed on my shoulder, and the cedar and sage aftershave that I craved surrounded me. “Anything you need me to do?” Cody murmured in my ear.
I shook my head but turned my back to the kids. “Is everyone here? Your in-laws came, right?”
The atmosphere between me and Curtis and Lauri had been polite. More like tolerance on their end. When I showed up each afternoon after giving them the morning with the kids, they were nice enough, but their gazes were assessing, their lips set in a line.
They didn’t hate me. But they weren’t enthusiastic about me. They were giving me a shot, and that was all Cody or I could ask for.
I think I’d really like them otherwise. If there’d been no Meg and we’d met outside of the Codysphere, I would’ve liked their frank attitudes and sardonic sense of humor.
They were dealing with Cody’s differing parenting style, which was at odds with how their daughter had done it. No more polos. No more oatmeal. No more strict routine. But Cody still had a routine, I was included, and the Smiths were adjusting.
“Curtis and Lauri are here. They wouldn’t miss it.” I couldn’t read his expression when he turned, so we were shoulder to shoulder, our backs to the kids. Quietly, he said, “More than everyone is here.”
My shock threatened to immobilize me. “More than everyone?”
He nodded solemnly. “The seats are almost full. Anyone in Crocus Valley who doesn’t have a job they have to be at is here.”
My nerves threatened to spill out of the cage I’d locked them into. “I’m going to puke.”
“Good puke or bad puke?”
“Stage fright,” I said in a ragged whisper. “I haven’t had it this bad since I was a kid. I’m not even getting paid for this performance.”
His eyes filled with understanding. I wasn’t getting paid, and the show was an advertisement for my future dance academy on its own, but it was so much more than that. This performance showed how much I cared—about dancing and teaching dance. How much I adored the kids. How much I wanted to be accepted in this little town that held my future in its hands.
The kids could perform and move on. I was the outsider. I was the one who wanted to be accepted. If I wasn’t, it wouldn’t make sense to ask Mom to move. I’d have to find somewhere else to start over.
“You’ll do fine,” Cody said, disrupting my mental spiral. “More than fine, like you always do. They’ll love the show, and they’ll love you.”
I hadn’t won his in-laws over, but they didn’t live in town. Crocus Valley wasn’t LA. I couldn’t just move on to the next venue. I had to make the venue a success and then have the town’s support.
“Tova.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and said into my hair, “There’s nothing to worry about. It’s all fallen into place. All you have to do is dance and enjoy yourself.”
He was right. I pursed my lips and let out a long breath. “Okay. You’re right. I’m making this too much about me.”
“I didn’t say that.” He rubbed my back, and I soaked up the strength in his touch. “It should be about you. But you’re looking after the kids, and it’s my job to look after you.”
Not long ago, I would’ve bristled against the way he said it. But he took care of me. He didn’t control me.
I squeezed his hand. “I’m good, thank you. Go sit and enjoy the show.”
A minute after he left, Vienne popped her head into the backstage room and gave me the thumbs-up. Her wide grin rippled over me, tying off frayed nerves. Between her and Cody, I was ready.
I passed the thumbs-up to the kids. “Everyone good with the changes?” All of them had been on board with my surprise. My nerves flared bright like all the stage lights were on me. I hoped Cody liked what we were doing.
Time was up. I walked out onto the stage. I wasn’t blinded by the glare like on a lot of stages I’d been on. The theater needed new stage lights, but like the rest of the building, they were good enough.
The only drawback was that I saw all the guests.
Cody was next to his in-laws in the middle. Ansen sat next to him. Then Aggie and Sutton next to her. Aggie grinned and waved from the front row. Thelma had one leg crossed over the other, and her default cynical expression was gone. Her expression was bright with anticipation, just like when I was a kid, and she and Grandma would be in the front row of my recitals.
Eliot and Wilder were behind Cody. Eliot had his phone out to record for Austen, who couldn’t take leave, and he said he’d send a link to me for Mom. Cody’s idea.
