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‘And do you have a lot of bad days?’
‘I’m in my eighties and I’m being driven by this thing,’ she smiled as she tapped her head with her finger. ‘So what do you think?’
‘Can you tell me a little about your family?’
‘There is none. My husband died and we didn’t have any children.’
I frowned. ‘None at all?’
‘Oh, Connie,’ she corrected herself. ‘Yes, Connie. Of course.’
‘And do you see her very often?’
‘I don’t know if I do. I think I might.’
‘Do you understand why people might be concerned about you?’
She nodded. ‘When I lost Bill, it didn’t cross my mind for a moment that anyone else would show any interest in me again. All I knew was that myproblemwas going to slowly eat away at me until ...’ She didn’t finish her sentence. ‘But then I met Paul and he’s given me a new lease of life.’
I hold back from mentioning any of this to Connie, as it would be breaking privacy regulations. Instead, I look to her and quietly take a deep breath. This is the part she’s not going to like. ‘To safeguard someone, we have to be sure abuse or neglect has occurred,’I continue. ‘And from what I observed, Gwen doesn’t fall into any of the “at risk” categories she would need to be in.’ Connie rises in her seat.
‘Of course she is!’ she protests. ‘She’s got bloody dementia! How much more at risk could she be?’
I continue regardless. ‘She is nourished, her hygienic needs are being met and she does not appear distressed. You admitted in our call that you have no evidence to suggest she’s being taken advantage of financially, and that there are no signs of physical, sexual or psychological abuse or coercive control. Even though Gwen is quite rightly considered vulnerable, she’s presently still capable of making her own decisions, and we have to respect she has the right to make choices, even poor ones. Taking all of that information into account, it makes my powers to intervene very limited.’
Connie’s face has collapsed. This is not what she wanted to hear. No child with an elderly parent would. I really feel for her.
But she isn’t ready to give up. ‘You must have caught her on a good day,’ she insists. ‘Go and visit her again, please. She’s not like that all the time. She holds her glasses case to her ear because she thinks it’s her phone. I’ve found her hiding loaves of bread in the greenhouse. Many times I’ve caught her in tears and she never knows why. And I told you she has gone missing several times before, didn’t I?’ She leans forward. ‘I read up about it online. A court can issue an “occupation order” to stop Paul living in that house. Who do I speak to to organise one of those?’
‘They will only grant it if he is a risk to her.’
‘But he is. You spoke to him too, yes?’
‘I did.’
‘You must have seen through his bullshit.’
‘I’m not allowed to go into detail about our conversation.’
I remember the last thing Paul said to me when I spoke to him alone. ‘Age is nothing but a number and I don’t expect everyone tounderstand that. Gwenny and I are always aware that because of her illness, our happiness is against the clock. So we make the most of every minute. Why would anyone begrudge us that?’
I’ve done this job for close to seventeen years, so I believe I can read people well. And I remember thinking how well rehearsed his answer was, as if he had expected someone like me to appear unannounced one day on his doorstep. ‘Gwen’s age isn’t what concerns us,’ I told him. ‘I have to be sure that no one is taking advantage of her condition.’
‘Do you think I’m after her money?’ he asked, then shook his head and laughed. He removed a phone from his pocket, opened a banking app and showed me the balance. It contained more than £460,000. ‘I pay my own way,’ he boasted. ‘I don’t need Gwenny’s money.’
Satisfied as I could be but still far from feeling comfortable, I was escorted out by both him and Gwen, who saw me off with a wave. But just as the door began to close, I overheard Gwen ask him, ‘Was I alright?’ I hesitated, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling.
But by law, Gwen’s words still weren’t enough for me to take this any further. It’s what my supervisor reaffirmed later that afternoon. I don’t mention this to Connie.
She looks me dead in the eye. ‘So what happens now?’
‘Well, I’m afraid nothing happens now,’ I say. ‘There is no evidence to suggest any wrongdoing. And until there is, my hands are tied. I’m very sorry this isn’t what you want to hear.’
Connie slumps back in her chair.
‘But I’m losing her, Sarah,’ she says. ‘I was prepared for the dementia to take away a little bit more of her every day. But I didn’t expect another person to rob me of her.’
I wish I could help her. I wish I had seen something concrete that concerned me enough to take this further through the correctchannels. But I didn’t. All I saw was a happy, elderly woman making the most of her declining years in the face of extreme adversity.
