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Smokey
Ibrushed my fingers through April’s hair, glancing down at her for a moment before focusing back on the TV across the room. She was sprawled over my chest, her lips softly parted in sleep. We’d only come into my room to watch a movie, but within thirty minutes of the movie being on, she passed out. I knew the other guys had a habit of wearing her out when she was with them, and though I knew she loved being the center of their attention, she also didn’t get near enough sleep or rest because she wanted to take care of all of us in turn.
She was such a giver. So much so that she tended to forget to take care of herself, too. But that’s why she had seven of us to look after her. We did our best to make sure she didn’t overdo herself.
A light knock sounded on my door. I turned my head the slightest bit to look at it before I grunted in acknowledgment. It slowly opened to reveal Tank’s massive frame. Capone and Hawke were still holed up in Hawke’s room, and I was prettysure the others were outside doing shit to their bikes. I thought Tank would’ve been outside, too, but apparently not.
Today was a relatively calm, unproductive day. Which all of us desperately needed. No sales. No runs. Just family time.
“She okay?” Tank quietly asked as he rounded the bed. He toed off his boots and peeled his shirt over his head, revealing all of those thick muscles and his tatted skin. I ran my eyes over him. To anyone else, his size might have been intimidating. It sure as hell was for me at first. But now, his size just made me feel safe. Protected. Like nothing in this fucking world could touch me when he was near.
“She’s okay,” I rumbled. Brushing my hand down her spine, I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Just tired, I think.” I smirked up at him. “You guys take a lot out of her.”
He chuckled as he shucked his jeans and peeled off his socks. “She loves it.”
I laughed a little, being careful not to jar her. He wasn’t wrong about that. I’d never known a woman who loved sex as much as April did.
Tank peeled off his socks and then slid under the blankets. When he pressed his body to April’s back and wrapped his heavy arm around both of us, I shivered, my eyes sliding shut for a moment.
Being in Tank’s arms was the safest I’d ever felt. Would ever feel, to be honest. I loved the other guys to fucking bits and pieces, but nothing was equal to Tank holding me like this.
“You been doing okay?” Tank asked me.
I opened my eyes in surprise. His dark ones locked on mine. Warmth spread through my chest and relaxed my limbs. Histhumb brushed over my hip. Clearing my throat, I nodded my head. “Yeah,” I rasped. “I’m okay. Nightmares are still pretty infrequent.”
A small smile tilted Tank’s lips. “Good. I worry about you.”
I sighed, even while my heart felt like it was going to grow wings and burst straight from my chest. “If I ever start spiraling, Tank, you will be the first to know. I promise.” I let a small smile tilt my lips. “There’s no need to worry.”
He grunted. “I always worry, baby.” My heart skipped a beat in my chest. I wasn’t much of one for terms of endearment—had been called various forms of them over the years while I was a sex trafficking victim—but from Tank, they heated my soul. He had a way of making the endearment tenderly slide across my skin before sinking into my bones, warming my chilled soul.
April moaned quietly and shifted a little, her arm coming up to rest on my chest. Her fingers clamped on my chest hair, and I bit back a wince all while I softly smiled down at her. She was so clingy, but I couldn’t get enough of it. The other guys would cuddle her in a heartbeat, but most of them sent her in my direction, knowing intimate touch like this without sex was my love language.
And this beautiful woman never took offense to them sending her to me. She understood. Knew all of us so well. Had learned each of our quirks, our love languages, and what shaped us so effortlessly. And she loved us as if it were as easy as breathing.
“So glad I don’t have chest hair,” Tank chuckled, eyeing my chest. I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Does it hurt?”
I shook my head. “It does when she first grabs on but the pain quickly ebbs,” I assured him. “Besides, I like it.”
He snorted. “You fucking would.”
I just grinned at him. He brushed his lips to the back of April’s head, his eyes still steady on mine. “Capone was worried about her earlier because she saw Hawke like that. No matter how many times she sees him go through sub drop with Capone, she worries too much every single time.”
“Capone has never and will never leave any of us alone during sub drop or any kind of low,” I said quietly. I’d even had Capone cuddle me and take care of me once when Tank was gone on a run. I hadn’t been out of my room all day, and he found me shaking on the shower floor, icy cold water beating down on me. He’d stepped into the shower fully clothed, turned the water off, and silently wrapped me in a towel before carrying me to bed.
“I’ve got you, Smokey,”he rumbled.“I’ll never let anything hurt you again, you hear me? I’ll slaughter anyone who does. You’re safe. I’ll protect you with my life.”
“Can’t escape it,” I rasped, my icy fingers digging into his shoulders. Capone didn’t even flinch. He just clutched me tighter to his wet chest and gently set me on the bed. I reached for him, terrified to be by myself now that he had come for me. My thoughts were too dark, my memories too terrifying to relive on my own. I needed him with me.
“Don’t—” I choked out.
Capone cupped my face in his hands. “Easy,” he murmured. “Breathe with me, Smokey. Deep breath in.” We both deeply inhaled, and I slowly breathed out when he did. “Again.” We repeated it four more times before my heart rate was back under control. He stroked his thumb over my cheek. “I need to get out of these wet clothes, and then we’ll lay in bed, okay?”
I nodded and slowly released him, my fingers aching for his warmth. A shiver wracked through my body when the air conditioning came on and blew over my cold skin, but I didn’t dare move. Felt like any movement without Capone touching me in some way would make all that ugliness in my past come racing back.
Capone quickly dropped all his clothes to the floor until he was naked, and then he grabbed my hand. I watched as he got on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard. When he patted his lap with his free hand, I quickly moved, the towel falling from around my waist. I straddled his lap, my legs on either side of his hips. And then I wrapped myself around him, tucking my face into the curve of his neck.
One would think after two years, I’d be able to handle it, but I couldn’t. I still struggled every fucking day. Barely got any sleep at night time. Most nights, I ended up in Tank’s bed, seeking the safety I so desperately needed wrapped around me.
