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Noah studies me impassively, then says, “I’m sure you know what you’re doing and have given it a lot of thought. And you already know what I think of him, so there’s no need to say it again.”
This neutrality, this calmness and objectivity – these are things I really appreciate about Noah. Of course he’s not going to lecture me.
“You want to tell him about us, right? That’s what this is about,” Noah guesses.
I nod slowly. “So much has already come between us. All the secrets... I really want to give this thing a chance, and for that to work, I have to be honest with him. I owe him that, and I can’t keep hiding things from him.”
“You know he probably won’t take it well, right?”
I nod and bite my lip.
“He might even break up with you over it.”
“I know,” I reply, looking straight into his lovely eyes, which I feel I know so well. “But it’s the only way, and at least then I’ve come clean with him.”
Noah shakes his head and sighs. “So this means you don’t want to see me anymore.” It’s not a question, just an observation.
I quickly move a step closer to him and take his hand. “No, that’s not what I said. I decide who I’m friends with. You’re important to me; you know that. And that’s not going to change.”
Noah’s lips curve up in a sad smile. “It won’t be easy for you.”
“Was it ever?” I ask with a shrug.
“No, I guess not.”
He reaches out to push a strand of hair out of my face. His touch is so soft, so tender and familiar that a lump begins to form in my throat.
“I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.” He kisses the top of my head, puts his arm around me again, and says, “If something comes up, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll wait for you to contact me. I think that’s for the best.”
I’m grateful to him for giving me the space and being willing to wait and see how the conversation with Ayden goes. But at the same time, it hurts because, like him, I have no idea how we can keep up this friendship in the long term.
He turns to face me again, looking at me with his warm, sad eyes, and I know I’ll never forget this moment.
On my way back to school, I keep wondering whether I’ll ever see Noah again, and if so, when? Since Frances found out about our friendship, it’s become clearer than ever that we’re treading a dangerous path. I always knew there would be serious consequences if we were found out. But Frances made it seem much more real. And now the Ayden thing... How will he react? I desperately hope he’ll listen to me and give me a chance to explain myself. But how do I even approach the subject?
I walk down our corridor and don’t hesitate for long. Best to get this over with. I’m raising my hand to knock when I hear a loud voice through the door.
“Are you going to tell her about the trials?” I instantly recognize Mr. Collins’ voice and stand rooted to the spot.
“Teresa knows,” Ayden replies. “I told her about it before we got together.”
“And you think that’s a good idea?”
“Yes, because I want to be with her, and she deserves to know the truth.”
“You realize that something could go wrong at any time during the trials? What then? Will you just throw in the towel for her sake? Knowing her, I’m sure she’s really worried about you.”
Ayden says nothing for a moment, then, “I won’t let you down.”
Mr. Collins sighs heavily and pauses for a moment, then I hear him say, “I’m surprised that you’re suddenly interested in a committed relationship. I never had the sense with any of your previous flings that you were looking for something serious.”
“Things change,” Ayden retorts, and I can hear the irritation in his voice.
“Ayden, I came to appeal to your conscience regarding the trials. I doubt she’s comfortable with it, which is understandable. She doesn’t understand these things; in the end, she’s not one of us.”
“You’re the one who offered her a place here,” Ayden reminds his father. “You must have seen something in her.”
“She has a strong connection with her spirit, and her gift is valuable to us. But you know as well as I do that she has a tendency to get herself into trouble and doesn’t like following rules. She’s very headstrong.”
