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I open my mouth to say something, but don’t know what. What do I say? What can I say to him? He stares at me waiting for an answer.
My hand reaches to the pendant hanging around my neck. The crystal flower, the one he gave me. “I just wanted to apologize. Again. For everything. Properly, I guess,” I say.
“You don’t need to keep apologizing, it’s okay. A lot of things happened, I won’t hold them against you.”
I take a step closer to him. “I know. But you did so much for me, and I disregarded your feelings. I shouldn’t have done that.” I look down at the pendant, then back at him. “You gave me so much that I didn’t deserve.”
He looks down at the necklace, too, then back at me. “Val, I gave everything to you because I wanted to. I didn’t do it to force you to love me. I don’t expect anything back from you. You shouldn’t be sorry because you didn’t fall in love,” he tells me and I look into his eyes, dark with the sky.
“But I did,” I utter. “I did fall in love with you. I fell in love with you from the minute I fainted, and you were there for me. I have loved you ever since, but I denied it every time because I didn’t want to believe I fell in love again. I denied it even after our kiss, but I loved you. I still love you,” I confess.
He’s staring at me with a softened expression, his eyes glassy. I feel my heart beat harder in my chest, but a weight has dropped from my shoulders. Instead, I feel a sense of warmth.
“I love you, Elias Miller. And it sucks, because it’s one of the riskiest things I’ve ever done, and it goes against everything I’m doing, but I still want you,” I breathe out before he steps closer and kisses me. He kisses me, again and again, sending butterflies through my body.
I bring my arms up and slip my hands through his hair. His arm wraps around my waist, and my body starts burning again. Just like it was the day in the library. His head tilts slightly to the side, kissing me harder. My heart pounds in my chest. Everything around us is blurred.
He then pulls back, still close enough. I feel his breath on my face as our eyes lock together. “I love you, Val. I didn’t think that it was possible for me to love someone this much. I would wait a thousand years if that’s what it took for you to fall in love with me. A million. Because I don’t think I can fall in love with anyone as deeply as I have with you.”
A smile twitches at my lips at his words.
“Well, lucky for you, you only had to wait two months,” I say. He smiles back.
“Lucky me.” He leans closer and kisses me again. My lips part, and a wave of joy enters my body. I let him kiss me until I’m breathless.
This is it. This is how it ends, and how it begins. A New Year. A New chance. No one will ruin it for me this time. Not even myself. This is what forever feels like. This is how I want it to be.
Thank you, Lorenzo.
Epilogò
Val
The car beeps as I shut the door of the passenger seat, a weak breeze welcoming me. Dark clouds slowly cover the sky. It’s not usual for it to rain here in Portland. Especially at the beginning of June. It’s the third. I can’t believe I’m here. I’ve never been a cemetery before, let alone the one in Portland.
I never thought I’d ever be.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Elias asks, walking around the car toward me. I am ready. I’ve never been so sure of it. It’s Lorenzo’s first birthday since he died. His nineteenth birthday. Yet he’s missing it.
I nod my head. “Yeah, I’m sure,” I reply. I take a deep breath before we enter the graveyard. We start searching through the headstones, looking for his name on every grave. I haven’t come here since his death. I didn’t have the strength to. But I’m here now. I would never miss celebrating his birthday, even if it meant finally having to come here.
His name isn’t easy to find. We look through some of the closer sections, but no one ever said where he’d be buried.
“He isn’t here, this is another family section,” Elias points out. He could’ve been buried in a special place and not with the other graves. I spin around and spot a figure walking toward us.
Amara Manuel. She’s here. Of course she is. “Amara is here, I’m going to go talk to her,” I tell Elias. He nods his head, and I make my way toward her. Her eyes are swollen, and her face is exhausted.
Lorenzo’s her son. He was her only son.
“Val. You’re here. I didn’t think you’d come,” she says.
“I wouldn’t miss it.” I smile softly. “How have you been?” I ask.
She inhales, shakily, before answering. “Better. I’ve gone back to work, which has been a good distraction. But it’s still hard. I’m not used to being alone.” Tears appear in her eyes. I’m stuck for words, not knowing what to say. What do you say to a mother who lost her only son?
Instead, I step closer and give her a hug. She accepts it, and I my eyes start to water. “You know we’re here if you ever need anything,” I tell her. She nods her head against my shoulder, then pulls back.
Her eyes are red now, filled with tears. She raises her hand to wipe them away and sniffs. “Thank you, again, for the help with the memorial. It was a lot, you didn’t have to,” she says.
