AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No, it won’t. They’ll blame us for spoiling them too much and say we should’ve known better. It’s happened before; it’ll happen again,” I add. I see him sigh. “Come on Oliver, I’m barely on task with these. I’m trying, but if I lose sleep, fans will be getting a negative number of concerts,” I warn him.
“I know, but this is what they want. You have to do it. Whatever they want, we give. That’s how this industry works. No matter how wrong the fans are, you give. If you don’t give, Val, you don’t get either. I’m telling you this to help you, you think I’m happy with this either. This is almost impossible, considering you allow no outside help. If you accept more help, less control, this will be so much easier,” he says.
I drop my head on the table. He’s right. I know he is. It would be so much easier if I let more people help. But I can’t. He doesn’t get that. He doesn’t get how risky it is to let anyone into my personal life. How scary it is. I raise my head back up, rubbing my face.
“I’m sorry, I get this isn’t what you signed up for, okay. But I will not accept more help, because it gives people control over my life, over my information, I cannot do that. Give me whatever things you don’t want to do, I will fit them into my schedule. I won’t ask more of you than what you are responsible for,” I reply.
“Val, that is not what I mean. I’m just suggesting the idea, everyone gets help and nothing happens to their lives.”
“I am not everyone.”
“You’re younger, and so?”
“That is not what I mean, Oliver.”
“Then tell me, because I don’t know what you mean.”
I sigh. “It’s nothing. Nothing that is relevant, I have it under control. I released an album a year ago, I’ll work on planning another one. Concerts can be planned for after New York, I’ll schedule more sessions at the studio to practice and organize something. Plus, I’m doing a whole event, no one else is doing that now, I’m sure they can wait for a month. I’ll work it out, on my own. I have everything under control,” I explain.
He hesitates to answer. “Val, that isn’t reasonable. You’re going to fall under pressure with this much. You can’t do that much.”
“If I can’t, I shouldn’t have chosen this career.”
“No, because no one who chooses this career does this much. People get others to do it for them. Any other manager would’ve disagreed with all of this.”
“Which is why I am so grateful of you, and why I’m telling you to give me anything you’re unable to do. But I cannot get other people, Oliver. I’m sorry. I will do more than I can to satisfy their demands, but I will do it alone. Even if I fall under stress, which is better, because I work good under stress. As long as I am in control.”
He sighs, pacing the room slowly. I know he’s sick of it. This choice of mine. I know that any other manager would’ve kicked me out the second I even suggested it. And maybe I am not fit for this career. Maybe I should look for something more private if I’m so scared of it and my life.
They can all think that. But for now, I’m the one who is on their TV’s, and I’m the one who’s working through all of thisbehind the scenes, so they don’t get a say in how my life goes. No one ever will.
Chapter 39 – Quarantasei
Elias
Elaina sits next to me on the couch, showing me the many drawings she’s done at school. They aren’t the greatest, but I give her benefit of the doubt. She puts effort into them, that’s all that matters. And it’s art, nothing is really wrong. She flips through her file, showing more and more pencil outlines of different objects.
“Elaina, leave Elias alone, he has to deal with enough artistic things with his dad,” Aurora tells her, making Elaina cross her arms and frown, sinking into the couch. I laugh at her reaction,
“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I don’t see her much anyway,” I tell Aurora, and she rolls her eyes as she walks back to the kitchen. Elaina jumps back up and continues to show me her artwork, ignoring Aurora’s presence just a minute ago. I try to react with each picture she presents. I know what it felt like to be a kid, to just want the smallest bit of appreciation. A simplethat looks greaton a project means so much more than people think.
She eventually finishes them all and goes to check on her mom. Aurora walks in and sits in her place. “Look, I’m all for giving the child confidence, but it gets tiring when it’s every day,” she says.
“I’m not judging, I wouldn’t know. But I’m fine with her accompanying me every once and a while. I’d take that over my father’s lectures any day.” I smile.
“So, how was studying with Violet?” she asks. Studying. We did almost everything but that yesterday. But the day still runs through my head repeatedly. Her soft smile after the drinks. The feeling when she was just an inch away from me, rain dripping down her hair. Thinking about it again, I would drink a hundred more cups of cold coffee if I got to have that again.
I spring back to reality, realizing Aurora still looking at me for an answer. “It was great,” I answer, vaguely. She raises her eyebrow in suspicion. Great. Another session of her not letting it go.
“It didn’t sound great? Did something happen?” she asks.
“No, it was good. I swear,” I reassure her.
“Then why are you acting weird?” she asks again. I gulp, looking at her as if I’ll be able to find a suitable response. What am I supposed to tell her? That whenever I’m with her new best friend, I feel like I’m floating and falling at the same time. I love Aurora, and I trust her, but she would never let that go.
I honestly don’t know what’s going on myself. I just feel these things when I’m around Violet. When she laughs, the sound rings in my ears like some type of melody. More than a normal laugh should. Normal people don’t want laughs to play repeatedly in their heads. Normal people don’t get butterflies flying around in their stomach when someone is close to them, looking at them.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not acting weird,” I lie. Her eyes narrow, and she blinks at me while leaning her head to the side.
