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A feeling continues to pick at me. Her eyes look so familiar. The green in them. I’d say it comes from Lorenzo, but Lorenzo’s eyes are darker. A harsher green. These aren’t. Even her voice sounds like one I know. But no matter how much I think about it, I can’t find a clear answer. For now, though, I close the thoughts down. I won’t be able to think at all when music starts blasting around.
The concert begins shortly after we take our seats. The entire hall is packed with fans, like ants. Everyone is singing to the music and jumping with their phones in their hands, while I sit down trying to identify which song is on. I always get at least one melody or lyric out of it.
After a couple of songs, another song begins playing, with new lyrics. The melody is not one I’ve heard before. However, the lyrics are familiar to me. Not word by word, but I recognize the sentences.
I turn my head to Aurora, who’s standing up. “What song is this?” I shout to her so that she’s able to hear me. She turns her head for approximately half a second to answer quickly.
“It’s new. Listen,” she answers, then turns back to the stage. New? I swear I know these lyrics. Where do I know this from?
Suddenly, it hits me. Yesterday. The paper. The lyric sheet I found on Violet’s desk yesterday. I take out my phone and open the photo, skimming through the words. They match those that Valentina are singing. These lyrics on that piece of paper and the same as this song. How did Violet have this? It wouldn’t have been online. Even if it were, it would easily be accessed through phone or even printed. Why was the paper written?
“Aurora, does Val have any events going on right now?” I turn and ask her.
“Yes. She’s holding a secret contest. Picking two people to go with her to New York this Christmas,” she explains, keeping her head turned to the stage.
For some reason, something hits my chest. Realization. A secret contest. Which means she’s probably out in public secretly. In a disguise. Lorenzo has never once said anything about hanging with Val the whole time he’s been here, onlyViolet. It was such a coincidence that both his friends were from Portland, and both are now here. Except it wasn’t. Which means . . .
Violet is Valentina.
Chapter 52 – Trentatré
Val
I sit at the table of my office, flipping through some files and papers. The room is warmer than usual, regardless of Oliver saying it’s the opposite and that he’s going to freeze to death because of me. But he keeps the heating off, and wears a jacket inside instead, since he wants me to stay here so we could work on things with each other.
Yesterday was extremely busy, so I couldn’t do anything. Which is why, today, I need to prioritize this and finishing up as much as possible. I have to look with Oliver at the final New York event planning, look at future concerts and releases, and hopefully plan what ever is coming next. It’s a Sunday, I don’t have school or anything else, so I am to stay in this room until the night. Even for lunch, which I will be ordering, even though I’m not hungry at all. My appetite is lost and has been since this morning.
Lorenzo said the concert was good yesterday. Great, in fact. Elias and Aurora had told him they loved it, and Aurora had jumped and screamed throughout. But I still feel like it was off. I was off. I don’t get to see my own performance to judge, but it felt wrong. I just hope it didn’t show to the rest of the crowd.
Oliver comes into the room, most likely checking on my progress. He looks at the files to my left, which I have finished reviewing and signing. “We really should shift to having electronic documents online,” Oliver points out. I push back and look up at him.
“I know, we have everything on computer for backup anyway. But I work better on physical paper, it isn’t the same as on a screen,” I explain to him. He nods his head, and my chair pulls back toward the table. “Plus, putting it all online gives more opportunity for it being stolen and hacked,” I add.
“I doubt they’d get through, you have quite a secure system.”
“That’s because I’ve dealt with hackers before, I know how they work. But I won’t risk it, people still might be able to mess it up and get my personal information. Information I won’t let them have.” I lower my head back down to continue working.
“I don’t get why you keep all you information secret. I mean, a lot of artists and celebrities allow knowledge of their family members and even homes to be released,” he questions. I take a deep breath, keeping my eyes on the paper.
He wouldn’t get it; the protection I feel I need. The safety I feel I require, like something might fall apart if I don’t have it. “Giving them information about my family and myself and my whereabout gives them control. Control to monitor my every move, monitor my things. It gives them a control no one should have over a person. And today, I would rather quit this job and lose everything I have, then have my every move monitored,” I tell him, not looking up.
A sigh leaves his mouth, before he drops the file onto the table. “Take some breaks. We need to finish things, but I still need you alive,” he tells me, then walks out of the room. His footsteps echo, and I notice that I’ve lost focus of what I was doing. I let my head lean back on the chair, letting out a breath.
I have too many things on my mind. I need to get this finished, time is running out. I gave Oliver Elias’s name for the event; he deserves to be a winner. But every time I look at him, I feel a wave of unease. Of sadness. Blame, even. Blaming myself. My chest gets heavier every time I think about it. A broken arm. For three months. He has to feel the pain of a broken arm for three months. The ladder should’ve hit me, I was in the way.
My throat begins to clog up, and I feel the heat of the atmosphere surround me. I push my chair back and get up. I walk toward the cabinet to grab a glass of water, filling it up from the tap. I drink a sip, then hold it up in the air. I rub my hands around my neck, feeling my heart get heavier and heavier. Why is it so hot?
I take deep breaths, sensing a sudden lack of air. My hand shakes, the water moving inside the glass. No.No, no, no. Not here. I use my free hand to hold onto the edge of the counter, closing my eyes to take deep breaths. Inhale, Exhale. But the more I do it, the harder it gets. The hotter is gets, until I feel the heat around my throat. My heart beats faster in my chest.
No, no, no.
Steps return into the room, and I hear Oliver’s voice sharp through my ears. “Hey, I fixed some minor problems, so I wanted to help and update you.”
Water forms in my eyes, and I start rubbing around my neck and shoulders.
“Oliver, is the heat on?” I ask, noticing how breathless my voice is. My other arm pins to the edge of the sink, the glassstill in my hands. Deep breath. Shaking hands. Calm down. Calm down.
“No, Val. It’s freezing.”
