AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I continue straight to class, realizing my first one is with Aurora. Maybe I should’ve gone somewhere else, somewhere other than school. Although if I did that, I wouldn’t be distracted and I can’t have that. I just need to try my best to keep Aurora as occupied as I want to be. I need to find some excuse.
My seat is empty, calling for me, when I walk through the class door. I let my body drop onto it, fixing my posture before looking straight ahead.Distract yourself, I repeat to myself. If there was a time to listen to the teacher, now was it.
Aurora doesn’t say a word through the whole class, giving me the opportunity to keep myself hidden. But it doesn’t stay like that for long. The moment the bell rings, we both exit the class together, since we have the same class next period, as well. This is a usual part of the routine and there’s never a problem. Until today.
“Hey, you doing okay? You looked tired and unfocused,” she points out. I thought I was too focused. My eyes burn from looking at the words so long. The feeling in my chest stays the same. Uneasy. Tight. I want to breathe it out. Release it somehow.
I don’t know how though.
This has happened to me many times in my life. Each time, I heal by having something new come up, or by solving the conflict. Most of the time I’m able to do it easily, with the help of my mom. I don’t know why it’s not working this time. Like whatever it is, it’s still stuck inside me.
“Yeah, just didn’t get great sleep,” I reply. She smiles back, and we continue to class. Another class. More distractions.
At break, I run off to sit alone. Lorenzo isn’t here today.Great. He’s absent. I don’t know why. I don’t know why life wants me to go through this. Alone. I’m seated in a random hallway, my back against a random locker, and I’m looking through my phone to distract myself.
People pass by, back and forth, but certain footsteps feel more familiar. I want to turn my phone off, to look up. But I don’t want to at the same time. The person’s steps get closer. I sense their presence next to me, then hear their body drop down next to me. I shut my phone off, still looking down at the black screen.
“Hey Violet. You didn’t come to the usual spot today,” a soft, but slightly deep voice says. Elias. I inhale a sharp breath. “Is anything wrong?” he adds. I just shake my head, flipping my phone around and letting it rest on my lap.
For the first time today, the tightness in my chest increases. I swallow the air, my body switching between warm and cold. Elias doesn’t move from his place. “Are you sure? You don’t look okay,” he points out.
I know. I know I don’t look okay. I’m not okay.
“I’m great,” I lie instead, raising my head to look at him while flashing a big smile. It’s obvious he isn’t convinced, as he stares into my eyes. The same eyes, they’re always there, calling me, waiting for me to sink into them. But I can’t today, they only make me ache even more. I avert my gaze, looking back down.
Why is he always with me when I’m like this? When I’m breaking?
“You don’t look great. You look exhausted, and normally I’d be able to tell which type of coffee you have, but you don’t have any today,” he says, making me giggle softly. He knows about my coffee moods already. I guess I’ve shown him enough. But no coffee today.
“I just don’t feel like any food or drinks now,” I answer, looking at him again. He nods his head weakly. Something in his expression is unusual. I don’t know what, I don’t know how, but there’s something there. The way he looks at me, it’s different.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks again, unsure of my answer. I nod my head, humming a small sound of agreement. “Cause if it’s anything to do with my arm, I swear it’s fine.”
His arm. I haven’t forgotten about it, yet I have at the same time. Overthinking, mixed with all the other feelings, means I can’t identify anything at the moment.
I fiddle with my fingers, unable to answer. Unable to lie. “I know,” is all I say. It’s all I’m able to say without blurting everything out. Even though I know it’s unbelievable; I know my face shows how much of a lie it is. But I still say it.
“You know, if anything, the injury isn’t that bad. It gets me out of a lot of things with my dad. I also get more help with everything here in school. So, other than the pain, it’s not completely horrible,” Elias continues explaining. He looks down at the cast, held at his lower chest. I look with him. “I swear it’s not as horrible as everyone says. I’ll get through it. Faster than if you had gotten hit.”
My chest relaxes slightly, but my heart beats faster. The coldness in my body starts to shift into something warmer. “You know you didn’t have to move me out of the way,” I mention.
“I know. I wanted to. Nothing would have stopped me, not even you.” His voice is soothing, calming my body down every other second. I know my body is red now, heat taking over my skin. But it’s not a bad heat. Not like yesterday, not heat that’s choking me.
“Thank you,” I almost whisper. He smiles now, his lips curling upward. His right hand barely brushes mine, and I feel a swarm of butterflies enter my body and fly into my stomach.
All the tightness and unease in my body seems to have weakened, starting to disappear. The tiredness begins to turn physical, and I feel a wave of fatigue hit me. But I feel better. No matter how tired, it’s better than the pressure I was feeling in mybody. The only thing left now is my heart, unable to calm down, and my stomach fluttering.
Elias shifts a bit, getting ready to stand up. “Now come on, you should eat something before class,” he says, standing up. It takes him a while to get up, before extending his free hand to me. I’m reminded about food, and my lack of breakfast. The sudden hunger hits me, however. I give him my hand, sensing my body tingle at his touch, before he pulls me up.
He lets go to my hand, then leads the way to our normal spot. But his touch still marks my skin.
I enter the office again, today realizing how cold it actually is. No wonder Oliver was freezing yesterday. Oliver is waiting inside this time, instead of at the door. For the first time ever, I think. His expression is more serious than other times, even though he’s always serious. But now it’s different.
He straightens when he sees me enter. He’s acting differently because of yesterday. He was there, he saw me. He was the one to call mom about it. I hate that he did. I hate that anyone ever needs to see me like that. It was different than crying. It was worse. It felt worse. No one should ever have to see me like that.
“Hey,” I greet him, putting on a weak smile.
“Hey,” he greets back, vaguely compared to usual. “Are you doing better?” he asks. I don’t know if he knows exactly what happened or not. He could’ve been confused, not many people can just tell what’s happening by looking at the person.
